If you thought Donald J. Trump was a moron, you should really get to know his kid, Eric. The Trump Crotch Spawn said last week that he thinks “13 Hours” — the box office bomb of a film that centered around the events of the September 11th, 2012 attack on a U.S. compound in Benghazi, Libya — should be required vieweing if you want to vote.
No, really, he said that dumb shit:
This is of course a really insanely stupid idea. But that got me to thinking…what other movies might Capt. Derpy McTrumpJizz want us to watch before we vote? And here’s what I came up with.

birth_of_a_nation_theatrical_poster#4. “The Birth of a Nation” (1915)

Sure, most of us know this as a highly-racist film that tells the story of the founding of the Ku Klux Klan as if it was anything other than a domestic terror group. But to Eric Trump, this film serves as an inspiration to truly Make America Great Again…for white people…who hate brown people.

Forrest-Gump-Poster#3. “Forrest Gump” (1994)

This enormously popular Tom Hanks vehicle featured a man with an extremely low IQ rising to great heights, despite all odds. Which would make perfect sense for a member of the Trump family to recommend to their fellow Americans as required viewing, since none of them have let their own tremendously low IQs stop them from doing anything. Also, this film contains many references to historical incidents, but not entirely accurately, which perfectly describes your average Trump fan’s education when it comes to the Civil War, The New Deal, or pretty much anything that pertains to “reality.”

WallStreetPoster#2. “Wall Street: “Money Never Sleeps” (2010)

“Wall Street” is a decent movie that lays bare all that was utterly wrong about our investor class in the 1980’s. But “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” is, well, inferior in just about every single way. Donald J. Trump is the “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” of Republican presidential nominees. Plus, Donald Trump is clearly the Shia LeBeouf of political actors, is he not? Just like Shia LeBeouf is the Shia LeBouf of actor actors.

ETposter#1. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

Is Donald Trump a weird-looking alien from another planet? Maybe. Is he a kindly alien, who is just here to investigate our flora and fauna? Afraid not. But you know, he’s not the only one in his camp that seems like they’re from another planet, is he?

Nope. Not by a long-fuckin’-shot.



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