Donald Trump is an ever loving piece of shit. I say this not because he’s a Republican. There have been and will one day again be good Republicans in the world. I truly believe that. Because the political parties are so craven and so greedy for votes they’ll do another ideological flip-flop on some issue or another, and Republicans will realize they can win more elections by being decent human beings again. Then again, I could be way, way, way wrong. Because after all the party that elected a piece of shit like Trump may be completely lost in the woods, never to see the light of day again.

Just how big a piece of shit is the Fuckface in Chief? As always, the best way to get a read on Trump’s piece of shit-ness level is to check his beloved Twitter feed. Let’s take a look at Trump’s tweets from this morning, shall we?

Everyone on Trump’s team calls him a big winner, and they always joke about how much winning they do, to the point they get tired of it. But, um, when you’re making a real, honest effort to change the rules so you can actually win, that kind of belies a different reality, doesn’t it? In fact, this tweet spells out pretty clearly just how much a loser Trump and the GOP are. They control literally every branch of the most powerful government in the history of the world, and they can’t even get anything passed, because this isn’t 2000 anymore, and people lost their minds when they saw how shitty the things they wanted to do with healthcare and a Muslim ban really were.

Wait a fucking minute…didn’t he literally just tweet, eleven goddamned minutes ago, that “few bills will be passed” if McConnell doesn’t change the rules so he can win, you know, like winners always do? Remember when the Yankees won all those championships (barf!) because they convinced Major League Baseball to change the rules so they only had to score one run to win, and didn’t matter how many runs the other team scored? Remember when the Patriots won those Super Bowls after they changed the rules and made it so that their opponents’ touchdowns count for their score?

Of course you don’t remember that. The Patriots won the good ol’ fashioned American way — they cheated, thank you. Now, let’s check out his next tweet…

I have no fucking clue who Nick Adams is. I bet you don’t know who Nick Adams is. And I’d be willing to bet that until Apricot Pol Pot tweeted about Nick Adams’ sure to be shitty book no one who actually supports the salmon-tinted shitbag knew who he was either. So frankly? I don’t give a fuck what Nick Adams thinks of Trump’s presidency, and I won’t ever care. So, let’s see what Trump tweeted next…

It’s not a day on Twitter unless Drumpf is doing his level best to swallow his own flaccid dick. Someone should, at some point, tell Trump that he’s only a handful of Republican Senators defecting away from being in real danger in the Senate. If nothing else, perhaps impeachment will never happen as long as the GOP is in power and he’s a Republican, but that doesn’t mean Senate Republicans can’t make his life miserable.

It is hard to get a read on them, though, in Trump’s defense. One day, someone like Lindsey Graham or John McCain might light him up, only to turn around and suck up to him the very next day. I would think that anyone who ran against Trump last year would be very willing to turn on him. Trump insulted Graham, Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, and everyone else directly on multiple occasions. Why any of them would carry his water is beyond me, but then Ben Carson was insulted by Trump last year too, and he’s in his goddamned cabinet. So…

Come to think of it — you know what I’m not seeing here? Tweets from our dickhead in chief about the impending doom and destruction Hurricane Harvey is promising to wreak on the citizens living in the Gulf Coast. That’s because the tangerine twat waffle waited another three hours from when I started this piece to when he actually tweeted anything about it. And when he did, it wasn’t any kind of comforting moment from a great leader, it was a basic-ass tweet that tried to make him look like a great leader.

I submit with great confidence that nothing makes someone more a piece of shit than being the most powerful man in the free world, seeing live updates of a hurricane barreling down on the people you’re in charge, and then taking the time and energy to tweet with passion and emotion about…yourself. How could you not surmise that Trump is a piece of shit over this? Sure, eventually he acknowledged the hurricane, but only after social media lit him the fuck up over it, and only in the most cursory way.

Did no one tell Don that the states most impacted by the hurricane are some of the most hardcore in favor of him? Not that it matters; he might care about his base, but his administration is understaffed and ill-prepared to handle this potential catastrophe anyway. It seems to me that Trump’s lack of real tweeting about the hurricane foretells some disastrous shit once the storm subsides.

So tell me, anyone, why I’m wrong about Donald Trump being a piece of shit. In my mind there was ample evidence before the hurricane.


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