I admit, I have a new chew toy. Her name is Tomi Lahren. She only hit my radar because of her blisteringly stupid rant on her show for Glen Beck’s “The Blaze” network in which she implied that Colin Kaepernick shouldn’t protest police brutality against black people because a) Colin’s half-white and was raised by white parents and b) Colin has white fans and is employed by a white person.
Lahren’s first rant on Kaepernick managed to elicit this from my brain goo:

The Blaze's Tomi Lahren Is Either Racist, Bone Chillingly Stupid, Or Both

I think most understood my point that Lahren may not have used overtly racist rhetoric in her Kaepernick rant, but she most certainly has shown white supremacist tendencies in the past, and she was most definitely speak to and about Kaepernick in a diminutive, condescending way that racists have historically been drawn to. But some said I was using “mental gymnastics” to pin the racist label on her.
That might be a fair criticism of my criticism of her first Kaepernick rant. Then again, I also gave two more video examples of her dog whistle (and not so dog whistle) racism, but I’ll let you decide how far off the mark I was in that piece.   Last night, however,  Frau Ann Coulter’s millennial cousin doubled-down on her spite for the 49er quarterback and I think she let her white hood slip a little more into frame this time. Lahren decided to roast Kaepernick verbally for a second time after the NFL star had the gall to say he’d continue his protest the whole season until the issue is addressed in a real way.
And now, sorry to do this to you, but for the full context of Lahren’s second pedantic, anti-Kaepernick rant, we gotta go to the tape. Just have a bucket for any bodily fluids that might involuntarily spew forth ready.

It’s hard to watch her videos because she speaks a mile minute (though the speed with which she blathers doesn’t seem to have any impact on the volume of her verbiage that contains actual “thoughts,” as her segment name advertises), but her first point about “economic opportunities for black people not seen under Obama’s Failed America” is really laughable. It’s not racist to point out the truth — that opportunities for African-Americans and black unemployment have not improved nearly as much under Obama as one would hope. It’s just fucking stupid for a conservative Republican to do it considering Republicans have blocked Obama’s agenda his entire eight years in office, and more importantly every time he tries to address racial tensions in the country he’s called a “Divider in Chief” by morons like Lahren.
Honestly, when’s the last time you heard a Republican give two wet fucks about African-American communities if it wasn’t when they were implying voting for Democrats has ruined them, or that if we just lower taxes and super wealthy white folks, we can help super not-wealthy black folks succeed? It seems like if they aren’t calling black people professional victims or calling them all too stupid to know how to vote in their best interests (a comment that’s racist by implication if not explicit language), I don’t know that you ever hear white Republicans truly offering solutions to black poverty and unemployment. It’s just empty words about boot straps and rugged individualism, and not much else.
When Tomi starts showing her ulterior motives is her line about “a decrease in black on black crime.” Conservatives absolutely love to imply that black people kill each other more than cops kill black people. Which is a big, fat, “no fuckin’ duh” if ever there was one. Sheer, simple math dictates that every racial subgroup would have more deaths from within than from police. White people also kill more white people than cops kill white people. That’s not an excuse for a disproportionate number of black suspects being killed by cops.

And further, the real point here is that black on black crime is already treated as a problem by cops in their regular duties as cops, you know, investigating crime and shit. So this line of rhetoric is either intentionally racist or inadvertently so, and neither makes Tomi come away smelling like roses.
Just after she blasts black on black crime as if it’s relevant to the discussion, Tomi then blasts her dog whistle as hard as she can. “Maybe it’s more two parent households where black fathers like his choose to stick around and raise their children,” Tomi speaks of Kaepernick’s pining for change. Because you know, white families don’t have high divorce rates and single parent families, right, Tomi? Using her “logic,” broke-ass red states that suck up more money from the feds than they put back should just tell their poor, white residents they need to stay married and they’ll have all the money they need. Using her “logic,” there should be rampant poverty at much, much higher levels than it is because the divorce rate is nearly 50% still, which would mean according to her “brain,” that nearly half of us should be living in poverty.
And all that is to say nothing of her implying that most black people are poor.
You know, it’s funny. In her second rant, she says that Kaepernick is just trying to remain relevant because his career is tanking. That’s some really beautiful irony considering that she’s at best a D-List flapping head who works for an absolute nutbar who calls people like Alex Jones friends. I’d say slamming Kaepernick’s protest twice in a week, pretty much just laying down racial stereotypes and empty platitudes both times, shows someone else is more desperate than Colin for the limelight.
Then again, this is now the fourth fucking piece I’ve written on the blonde douche barge since the start of the week, so who the shit am I to judge? Oh wait, I’m not the one excoriating people for being desperate for the limelight, am I? I have a question for Tomi, though, since she asked Kaepernick if he’s going to give up his “American dollars” since they’re from a country he doesn’t respect, and like my viral tweet to her that she completely ignored, I’m sure she won’t answer it.
Are you going to give up your American dollars, Tomi? After all, those dollars come from a country full of liberals and African-Americans who want to exercise their freedom of expression in a way you find so repulsive you trade any amount of dignity you have for cheap, racist parlor dog whistle rhetoric. You call Colin Kaepernick’s protest “disgusting” not because you deny in any way that black men are being shot and killed in the streets at an alarming rate, but because you love America so much you can’t stand anyone criticizing it…unless they’re giant, orange, full of shit and wearing a cheap red baseball cap to cover up their unconvincing diarrhea of a hair piece.
So…will you give up those American libtard socialist gay black Muslim Mexican dollars, Tomi?

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.


  1. What? Colin Kaepernick is a gay Mexican who fell in love with the murderous dictator Fidel Castro? No way! I thought Fidel tortured and slaughtered homosexuals. Kaep must be a freak for real. Different strokes for different folks I guess. He must be broken hearted… “So Sad”


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