Todd Starnes has had a rather unhealthy obsession with birthday cakes for quite awhile now. I’ve postulated that perhaps he had a traumatic experience as a small child, and his mommy did not love him enough to provide him with a three-tiered Barney Fife oozing chocolate masterpiece every year on his birthday. Or maybe he simply needs a stripper to jump out of a gigantic cake once in awhile to compensate for the fact that he isn’t getting any. But whatever, only Todd could make a career out of faux outrage over a freaking dessert.

This time, however, he has moved on to a school play. In typical Todd fashion, he mouthed off without having all of the information; but this time, it became a dangerous situation for an entire family.

Penn Live reports that a Lancaster County school’s annual performance of “A Christmas Carol” was cancelled this year, and some people blamed a Jewish family in town, alleging they had complained about the line “God bless us, every one!” Despite the fact that makes absolutely no sense, because Jewish people actually do believe in God, it did not stop Breitbart Alt-White House Network and Faux News We’re Trying Really Hard to be Breitbart from running with the story at that point.

GAWD FORBID they do any actual journalism or investigation, especially when a story sounds suspiciously inaccurate and causes you to screw up your face in confusion. It’s much better to just run with it so Todd can get his blood pressure up being self-righteous and standing up for JEEZUS on his paved and golden street to GLORY.

Todd Starnes, in a Fox News “Opinion Piece” (and why do they need to say that; everything on that station is either bullshit or an opinion, but I digress…), he said, “I’m afraid Tiny Tim’s goose has been cooked by the Ghost of Christmas Intolerance. Bah, humbug indeed.” Oh, Todd, you are SO CLEVER!

All of the Trumpsters can stop reading right here and scream and yell about political correctness. Only “liberal elites” should continue for the remainder of the story.

The district released an explanation explaining that the decision was made due to time constraints.

“We want to clarify that the decision to cancel the play was a building decision, based upon interactions between myself and the fifth grade teaching team. This decision was made based primarily on instructional opportunities for students. Producing and performing a play is not part of the written curriculum for fifth grade.”

“One rumor we’ve been addressing is that one or two families influenced this decision. That’s just not true. The instructional time issue was our primary concern. Alternative solutions were explored for offering the play differently, including the use of non-core instructional time, but it was decided by the building team to not go down this path. We also looked at having rehearsals after school hours, but, at this time, parents nor staff members have stepped forward to take advantage of this possibility.”

Lancaster Online reports the Jewish family had to leave the county out of fear for their safety. They did not complain at all, Todd Starnes, but they did ask for their child to be excused from the performance for undisclosed reasons, and that request was granted.

Welcome to the age of Trump, Post-Information. Where bullshittery meets self-righteousness, Conservative Christianity is a joke, and we should all throw Todd Starnes off the proverbial journalism bridge.

He should be held financially responsible for every penny of that family’s costs, plus extra for causing them so much grief. It’s time for these jackasses to start paying for their fuckery. Some people only understand one language. Let’s start speaking it.


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