Donald has finally lost his last fucking marble. Let me give you the rundown of the last eighteen hours, in case you’ve missed anything. I’ve got mental whiplash from watching all this.
At a rally in Greensboro, North Carolina, last night, just ninety miles northwest of Fort Bragg, Derpy Don once again threw out his conspiracy theory that soldiers had stolen money in Iraq. According to Politico:
“Iraq, crooked as hell. How about bringing baskets of money — millions and millions of dollars — and handing it out?,” Trump said at an evening rally. “I want to know who were the soldiers that had that job, because I think they’re living very well right now, whoever they may be.”
Although 115 service members have been convicted since 2005, his campaign spokeswoman did attempt to walk-back these comments in an email, by stating he meant the Iraqi soldiers. SURE. Like he did last fall when he made similar accusations?

This morning Derpy Don woke and starting Tweeting, and it went downhill from there.
Yes. You read that correctly. He just came out and said: You know that thing I got so angry with the Washington Post for saying I might have implied? Well, I was right about that. And here’s the Breitbart article to prove it!
Goddamn when is Breitbart going to be outlawed as a valid source? It really should be kept in wacky conspiracy chambers with cauldrons and brews and frogs’ feet where it belongs.
And last, but certainly not least, in what is SURE to please all the gun-toting rednecks everywhere, he has announced his plan to do exactly what the Democrats have been trying to get done for…like…freaking ever now.
What the fuck? You know, I think we should all get together and start sending the Republicans our #ThoughtsAndPrayers. Don’t you? Bless their fucking hearts, maybe we can also get them a copy of “Family Therapy Magazine”.


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