I spent too many years voting Republican, because…I was raised that way, and that’s what the Reverend said was right. Once I completed my detox and was no longer under the influence of church propaganda, I realized my college education, combined with life experience, gave me the amazing power to read, research, and form my own opinions. Although I continue to read from a variety of sources, from The Weekly Standard to Reason to Southern Poverty Law Center, and everything in between, it only took me about six months to go from a Conservative to a flaming, vote-Blue-no-matter-who Liberal.

What was the issue that first pushed me over the edge? White men legislating my vagina. These old men blatantly disregard science, doctors, common sense, and women, all in favor of the strictest interpretation of The Bible, which they wave around the Capitol Building while stomping on the Constitution. I have no doubt they would gladly go back to the days of women being silent and in complete submission to men if they thought they could get away with it. I imagine many of them practice their own versions of Sharia Law at home. Since that won’t work, they pass laws to restrict access to birth control, legal abortions, Planned Parenthood services, how often I can have a mammogram, and somehow they manage to point back to the Holy Book for all of this.

Look y’all. This is my body, last I checked. When I have a problem with it, I don’t open the KJV, nor do I call a preacher. I go see my doctor. I sure as fuck don’t call 1-800-DIALTHEGOP. So why do we keep letting these idiots make these laws? Why do women continue to vote them into office, and why do our husbands insist on it as well? Because of Jesus? Oh hell no. Jesus did not have an opinion on my sex life, my vagina, or my breasts. This is about control and diversion, and the masses are brainwashed. The states that spend the most time enacting Bible Law are the least educated and poorest in the country.

They honestly believe that their version of morality trumps all else. And in the words of Oklahoma Republican David Brumbaugh last week, when discussing revoking the medical licenses of any doctors who performed totally legal abortions, “If we take care of morality, God will take care of the economy.” Yeah, because that’s how it works, dude. And if you share that Facebook post, Jesus will bless you in three days with piles of cash.

If I could turn this around, I’d like to make it a law that when these guys get sick, they have to go talk to their preachers. Erectile dysfunction? Go read Song of Solomon. Your prostate botherin’ you? I’m so sorry, sugar. I guess you need to mosey on down to the church and get on your knees to ask the good Lord about that dribbling problem you have. I’d be willing to bet those good old boys would get out of my panties in a hurry then.


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