Hey, it’s another sex scandal for the Religious Right, and I bet you don’t even know about it! Yes, it’s my two favorite subjects…sex and religion. I figure if I write about both of them enough, I will one day be considered an expert!
The Southern Baptist Convention just elected a new president, and I think it is extremely important for us to understand just a bit of background about this. You may be asking yourself, why do I care? Well, first, the SBC is the second largest religious organization in the United States, just behind the Roman Catholic Church. Over 46,000 churches made up of 15.5 million members is significant.
If you have been concerned with the issues at Baylor University or just the overwhelming number of sex scandals that seem to proliferate within the churches, this is concerning.
Dr. Steve Gaines of Six Flags Over Jesus, aka Bellevue Baptist Church, in Memphis, TN, was elected the new President of the SBC. This shocked the living shit out of me, because I still haven’t forgotten the huge scandal from 2007 that nearly cost old Steve his new job at the mega-church. But in the grand tradition of Religious Right Hypocrisy, when someone royally screws up, just wait a few years and promote them!
One of Steve’s junior ministers, who also happened to be in charge of dealing with children, confided in Pastor Steve that he had molested an under-aged relative some years back. Pastor Steve elected to keep this a secret for at least six months, because “reasons”, and proceeded like nothing was wrong. This junior minister was also in charge of counseling molestation victims. Oh, Steve. When all this finally came to light, Pastor Steve had to beg the congregation to keep his job. I’m still not exactly sure how he managed to do that, but he gave a holy fuck ton of excuses, including the standard “God has forgiven his sins and so should we” bullshit, along with “I was pretty new at my job, so I wasn’t exactly sure what to do” because Jesus didn’t bless me with common fucking sense.

It’s not like Steve walked into the job at the biggest church this side of the Mississippi River straight out of seminary, so he had some experience. He also has lived and breathed for a few years, so I think the whole concept of not letting an admitted child molester hang around a massive church with a bunch of kids might not be too much to ask. Had I been in charge, I’d have kicked his ass so hard, he’d have sailed out of the church, past the SBC, and ended up several layers down into the fiery pits of hell, along with his child molesting junior preacher friend.
Then again, what the hell do I know? It’s not like I have any morals, right? What without a holy book to tell me what’s right and what’s wrong, how do I function?
From this point forward, let us all remember that when the Southern Baptists make proclamations regarding how we should live our lives, and What Would Jesus Do?, everything that comes from them should be automatically prefaced with “cover up for child molesters”. You know, like, “Jesus says cover up for child molesters, BUT the gays are going to hell.” And, “Jesus says suffer the little child molesters, BUT, the NRA sits at the right-hand of God.”


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