As much fun as I’ve had both literally and satirically abusing Marco Rubio over his cringe inducing, talking point repeating debate performance over the weekend, I really hope what doesn’t get lost in the shuffle are his really WTF-tastic comments about rape victims that he made to George Stephanopoulos in an interview on ABC’s This Week that aired the day after the debate, which happened to be Super Bowl Sunday, so I’m just doing my little part here to expose Rubio’s comments to as many people as possible.

At first, it seemed like Rubio might actually have a human soul after all when he told Stephanopoulos he does in fact have at least one exception he’d agree to in his dream world scenario of ripping sexual autonomy away from women.

Well, first of all, I do require an exception for life of the mother because I’m pro-life. Number two, I — as I’ve said, if they pass a law in Congress that has exceptions, I’ll sign it because I want to save lives. (source)

Cool! Look at that! A Republican saying he’d sign a bill with exceptions for the life of the mother. That’s great. Except, wait a minute. What if you’re raped? What if that rape brings about a pregnancy? What are Marco’s thoughts on that scenario?

It’s a terrible situation. I mean, a crisis pregnancy, especially as a result of something as horrifying as that, I’m not telling you it’s easy. I’m not here saying it’s an easy choice. It is a horrifying thing what you’ve just described. It’s heartbreaking. It is unimaginable, quite frankly. I get it. I really do. And that’s why this issue is so difficult. (source)

Okay…well, it is technically a “terrible situation.” I mean some of us would call it “horrific,” or “life altering” or “the worst fucking thing imaginable.” But okay, yeah, “terrible situation” is an improvement from the idea of legitimate rape. I mean, it’ snot like he’s saying rape embryos have some weird right to life, right?

But I believe a human being, an unborn child, has a right to live irrespective of the circumstances by which they were conceived. (source)

God damn it Marco.

Let’s be fair, at least Rubio has the sense to acknowledge that not everyone in the world shares his creepy view that the state should be allowed to force rape victims to have their rapists’ children. After all, he said he knows “a majority of Americans don’t agree” with him on the subject. That’s why he said he knows “any law that limits abortions that passes will almost certainly have exceptions” and he even said he would “sign [an anti-abortion bill] with exceptions.”

But just when you thought Marco was sane, he ended the exchange like this:

But I personally believe that all human life is worthy of the protection of our laws. (source)

On its face, he was pretty respectful and didn’t call women murderers for practicing their own sexual autonomy. However, rhetoric like “all human life is worthy of the protection” is stupid. Why?

Because not all human life is worthy of protection, especially if someone had to be fucking raped to create it. I don’t understand how the Republican Party has gone from vehemently opposing abortion, but understanding in certain circumstances you become a true tyrant when forcing birth on women, to having no compunction at all about implying that a woman’s uterus and ovaries are the property of the state.

“Small government” conservatives like Rubio have no problem telling us that the government has a duty to be in the bedrooms or the operating rooms of average American citizens. A real insult and danger to society comes from their attempt to “Silver Lining” rape.

What kind of weird, sycophantic belief would make you believe that a child conceived in rape is something that should be forced into the world and onto the rape victim?

So you know what, yeah, the Robo-Rubio shit is hilarious. And it’s certainly indicative of the fact that he probably has very few original thoughts himself these days, but can we please not lose sight of the fact that in the end, he’s another religious fundamentalist who is fixated on sexual morality at a time when there are far, far more pressing issues for our elected officials to deal with? It’s kinda important, unless you think politicians excusing rape on any level is cool, of course.

Here’s the whole segment with Rubio. You tell me if I’m being too harsh on him.


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