No no no no no no no.

Just in case I wasn’t clear before:


Look, I love Oprah Winfrey’s Cecil B. DeMille acceptance speech as much as any good-hearted libtard should. It was strong. It was powerful. It was educational and enlightening. It tugged at my heart strings and made me feel both proud to be an American and ashamed of it. It was such a good speech it probably made a whole lot of people google Recy Taylor and those people may have had just a little bit of their perspectives changed for the better because of Oprah’s speech.

In 1944, Recy Taylor was a young wife and mother walking home from a church service she’d attended in Abbeville, Alabama, when she was abducted by six armed white men, raped, and left blindfolded by the side of the road coming home from church. They threatened to kill her if she ever told anyone, but her story was reported to the NAACP where a young worker by the name of Rosa Parks became the lead investigator on her case and together they sought justice. But justice wasn’t an option in the era of Jim Crow. (Harper’s Bazaar)

It’s not very often you see such a strong speech at an awards ceremony. Winfrey managed to help viewers see what life was like for her as a young black girl, she was able to somehow elucidate the experience of African-Americans in general. She spoke with eloquence. She spoke with grace, and she spoke with an unflinching dedication to the truth she was telling.

And now everyone seems to be wondering aloud whether she’ll run for president. No matter how the question is asked, I hope the answer will be exactly what I started this thing off with:


We don’t need another TV star president. We need someone who is actually trained and prepared in how to do the damn job of president, not talk show host or reality-TV attention whore. Ronald Reagan proved we didn’t need another TV star turned Republican a-hole president, but since we can’t unfuck that particular pregnant woman, let’s not go compounding the issue by electing another inexperienced novice billionaire.

The thing that Donald Trump has made abundantly clear is that Barack Obama was, no matter what criticisms you lob at him, prepared. He was prepared to be president, and his administration was prepared to be presidential. I am sure it drives conservatives nuts to think this way, but compared the chaos and befuddlement that surrounds Trump, Obama had every T crossed and every I dotted.

Even George W. Bush looked more prepared and on the ball than Trump does. That’s because for all his faults, and Dubya was pretty much a walking mistake waiting to happen, he still came from a background that gave him some kind of inkling as to what he was going to be doing in his job. Trump every day finds a new way to look like a lost little child or an inept puppet of one group — Russia, the Congressional Republicans — or another.

And we don’t erase that mistake by hiring the liberal version of Donald Trump.

Of course I’m not saying Oprah has Trump’s views. I’m saying Oprah has the same level of experience in governing as Trump does…less now, actually, if you can believe it. And if you don’t think for two seconds Trump would bring that up in a debate with her, you’re high and need to share your good stuff.

I would think that after a year, we could admit that being a billionaire doesn’t qualify you to be president, no matter how much executive experience you have.

What the country will need once Trump is gone is an adult with at least some experience leading a government under their belt. Governors have that kind of experience. Senators do, too. As much as I love showbiz, there aren’t very many I’d say we should put behind the wheel of the most powerful and richest country in the history of our species.

Democrats will lose all credibility when they attack Trump for relying on only his celebrity to lead the nation if they go and nominate Oprah. She might be a saint. She might be a literal goddamned saint, and that STILL doesn’t mean she should be anyone’s nominee in 2020.

That is, of course, unless you want Idiocracy to become a documentary.

People actually do go to school to learn how to become effective policy makers. People do actually study government and governance. And some people feel a calling from an early age to represent their people in government, which makes them work at it. They run for office, and maybe the lose, or maybe they win. But they keep at it. They get better at it, because if they don’t, they’re tossed out by the electorate, or at least that’s how it works on paper.

It’s not a point of shame for someone to have prepared their whole life for a career in politics. It’s a point of shame when their career in politics takes a turn for toward shameful acts. If Democrats want to win in 2020 they need to turn their sights toward the future, yes. However, that future needs to be secured by someone who has education and experience in things that are actually useful to being a good president, not just a rhetorical antithesis to our political adversaries.

Anything else is just the Democrats doing their own Trump thing.

Oprah could probably win. She could likely wipe the floor with President Dotard. And her speech was truly amazing. None of that means she should run though, because none of that means she’d actually be a good president, which should be the first and foremost issue on everyone’s minds when they decide who our next commander in chief should be.

James’ satirical works can be found on The Political Garbage ChuteThe Pastiche Post, and Alternative Facts.


  1. I agree- we shouldn’t try to fight fire with fire. let someone who understands practical politics run for President on the Democratic ticket in 2020- NOT Oprah!


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