You know what they say, “Douchey birds of a feather flock together.”

That must be why Phil Robertson, Duck Dyansty’s head dick, is out stumping for Senator Ted Cruz’s presidential campaign. Given that Robertson and Cruz are both open and devout evangelical Christian homophobes, I suppose that no one should be surprised that while Robertson was whoring himself for Cruz that he went on an anti-gay rant. because that is exactly what he did.

As reported in The Week, when Robertson took to the stage to introduce Cruz to an Iowa City crowd, he made sure to crank-up the Jesus.

Robertson said Cruz has his support because he “loves God, he loves James Madison, and he’s a strict constitutionalist.” (source)

Someone should remind the Dick Commander that most of the founders weren’t what you’d call devout Christians. Many were “Deists” which at best for Robertson means they were “spiritual” but certainly not the flavor of Christianity he and Cruz practice now. So it’s funny to me that he thinks people who specifically built protections against religious zealots like Robertson and Cruz wouldn’t be horrified by their sycophantic religiously dogmatic view of American Constitutional Law.

Then came the homophobic diatribe we all knew was coming.

“When a fellow like me looks at the landscape and sees the depravity, the perversion — redefining marriage and telling us that marriage is not between a man and a woman? Come on Iowa! It is nonsense. It is evil. It’s sinful. They want us to swallow it, you say. We have to run this bunch out of Washington, D.C. We have to rid the earth of them. Get them out of there.” (source)

I wonder if by “depravity,” Robertson was talking about his fellow reality-TV Jesus Freaks, the Duggars and their incest-happy son? Or maybe by “perversion” he was talking about the perverted reality of Kim Davis, the Kentucky state clerk who thought she lived in a theocracy and didn’t have to abide by secular laws? No, of course not, he meant those evil, uppity gays. How dare they want to be treated like humans just because their human beings?

Here’s the truth — liberals should just accept that gay marriage is the new Roe Vs. Wade. I remember being dragged to Promise Keeper events in the 90’s and being told how terrible abortion was for the soul of this country, and that was 20 years after the Supreme Court ruling. Marriage equality is going to be the same, never-ending battle for conservatives, and Robertson is all the proof you need of it. The same rhetoric he used about running “this bunch out of Washington,” is exactly how they talked about getting pro-choice politicians out of D.C. when I was growing up. Literally nothing has changed.

Very honestly, the reason that this is noteworthy at all is just for the fact that Cruz could be the GOP’s guy in the big election come November, and it’s going to be important that all the endorsements from people like Robertson or Jerry Falwell, Jr. for Trump, should the billionaire mogul end up being the Republican nominee. Right now, Robertson is just one bigoted douche supporting another bigoted douche, but if the primary season winds down and Cruz is in the top seat, it’ll be vital that stories like this one resurface so that Cruz can be held accountable for his own views as they relate to Robertson’s.

Call me crazy, but I don’t think it’s “evil” that two loving adults who happen to be the same gender sleep with each other. It’s evil that other adults think it’s their place to treat them like subhuman animals because they are two loving adults who happen to be the same gender and sleep together. Then again, I’m not a Duck Douche, so what do I know?


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