President Donald Trump is a sad, delusional, out of touch, and clearly very insecure and frightened, gargantuan orange man-baby. And he uses his Twitter account in a way that were he a certain black Democrat, Congressional and rank and file Republicans alike would be calling for his impeachment, if not outright crucifixion. Not that a president tweeting out troll posts about Democrats is illegal; it’s just a dicky, douchebag move below the office the of the presidency, and yet…

Yes, that’s a sitting President of the United States trolling Democrats — the millions and millions of his “fellow Americans” he claims to want to represent — with a book that is mostly blank pages. Oh, and FYI, as my good pal Ben Hooper pointed out in his tweet reply, Mr. Knowles is an unoriginal hack douchebag who stole his book idea from a guy who did something similar about Trump himself.

Personally I hope that the good people of the Intertubes torpedo the reviews on Amazon for Knowles’ shitty book. There is literally nothing worse in the world than stealing jokes. I mean that. AIDS, cancer, famine — all of them pale in comparison to taking credit for someone else’s joke. Maybe I’m being hyperbolic here because I’m a comedian, but ultimately what I’m trying to say is, “Fuck Michael J. Knowles.”

But, okay, sure, so that tweet was a below the belt, trolling tweet meant to insult about half the country. It’s especially ironic given what his approval ratings, you know, from non-right-leaning polling companies and not Rasmussen, show that most of the country doesn’t like him or trust him to keep his promises. Can you imagine, though, if Barack Obama had weighed into a local, special election in Georgia like this?

I just love that the idiot misspelled “Congressional,” too. It’s so indicative of the misplaced hubris of his party that he takes and amplifies by about 150,000% each day. It’s not that Obama didn’t send any tweets with grammatical errors, I’m sure he did. It’s that not only is Trump using the power of his presidency and Twitter to bully Americans, now he’s using it to openly campaign for his party.

Which, again, is not illegal and nor am I suggesting it is. It’s just below the office. It’s just unseemly. It’s just embarrassingly low class. You know, for a guy who literally shits in an opulent, gold plated palace, Donald Trump sure does know how to come off as a classless, abhorrent gutter dweller, doesn’t he? What a very presidential attribute to have — trolling and insulting people while taking partisan potshots.

Of course, we all know why he’s going on the attack — he’s scared shitless. The Republicans nearly lost a super-safe election in Kansas last week, and now the Georgia race he’s trying to influence is way, way closer than it should be in such a safely red, Trumpian state. It’s almost as if people all over the country are waking up to what a disaster he is. It’s almost like it’s hitting them like a ton of orange, fascist bricks what a boorish, unqualified, delusional fuckwit of a president we have now, and they want to stymie his agenda before he and his ilk destroy the social safety net completely.

All of these tweets came from the last twenty-four hours. I’m not even going to get into the fact that Trump has gotten into fights with sketch comedy and musical casts. I won’t mention that his daughter and sons are using the presidency to stuff millions into their bank accounts, either. If Obama’s daughters had the chance to behave like this, Paul Ryan would have had them personally thrown out of D.C. forever.

It’s not that Republican hypocrisy is new. It’s just that Donald Trump is a big, fat, small handed, apricot tinted magnifying glass, and when you put them under him, it makes their ugliness completely unavoidable, and lets you see the fine details of their debauched, mendacious, delusional fantasy world in which he’s presidential and Obama was unAmerican. Republicans would have had Obama impeached if he was making deals with Carrier before he was even in office. If Trump’s predecessor had bullied private companies like Trump has, they’d be calling for his execution for being an obvious central planning commie.

So what does it all mean? I don’t know man; I’m a comedian. I’m just here to point out the bullshit, mannnnnnnnnnnn. And boy is there an entire metric fuck-tonne of it to go around these days.

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.


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