What the hell is wrong with Confederate sympathizers that makes them actually want to celebrate the Confederacy?

a) They lost.

b) They fought for the right of confederate states to continue slavery (and it doesn’t matter how many “but, but”s you throw in there, because you cannot arrive at the Civil War without slavery having been legal in the first place).

c) See points a & b.

It is a wholly and uniquely American paradigm to celebrate treasonous slavers and their stooge soldiers, and Mississippi’s Governor Phil Bryant is just the most recent idiot to continue this long-standing tradition of ignorance. Bryant announced this week that he would make the month of April “Confederate Heritage Month” in his state, and not a single utterance of the word slavery was t be found. It would be one thing if he had acknowledged with solemnity that the lives of the slaves should be honored as well, but he didn’t do that. Instead, the focus will be on the men who fought for rich plantation owners to continue to own black people like furniture or farm equipment.

Governor Murphy is just the latest in a long line of arrogant southerners to declare a love and appreciation for a people and a cause that deserved none. It is true that the bulk of Confederate soldiers and voters at the time didn’t hold slaves. However, that doesn’t take away from the fact that they were convinced by wealthy powers to fight a war to defend and protect slavery. And in the end, if you read enough confederate soldiers’ diaries you get the very distinct impression that they were a pretty damned racist bunch.

I wonder if anyone in Germany considers having a “Nazi Soldier Heritage Month.” After all, not every German soldier participated in the Holocaust-y parts of Hitler’s war effort. Why, I bet that there were even some German soldiers who didn’t mind Jews, and even some who didn’t agree with Hitler’s view that they were all burn-tastic. So yeah, someone get Angela Merkel on the phone for me so I can tell her I have a wonderful idea for a new heritage festival for her people next year.

What’s that you say? You’d never have a Nazi Soldier Heritage Month because of how insulting it is to their Jewish victims? You say that even though they were “just following orders,” the orders they were following, and the cause they were fighting for, were so repugnant that they only belong in history textbooks and museums? You say that sure, there were probably good and decent people in that army but the overall darkness and depravity that was represented in them as a whole is far too disgusting to embrace in any way?

Hold on one second.


Sorry, irony overloads cause my brain to shut down.

Am I saying that Confederate soldiers were like the Nazis of their time? Yes. Yes of course I am. They were an army solely raised for a wholly immoral purpose. That purpose was the further dehumanization, abuse, and yes even slaughter and murder of a minority group of people. They didn’t incinerate slaves, but if one got a little too “uppity” you better believe their life was forfeit.

This is all just so very trite and clichè, isn’t it? It’s pathetic, actually, that in 2016 they can’t remotely acknowledge the greater tragedy of the Civil War era wasn’t the death of their idiotic confederacy, it was the root cause of the war — slavery. Yes, slavery was and always will be the root cause of the Civil War. Spare me the comments below about my government education. Again, until you can take me from 1776 to 1861 without slavery’s legality and still show me how the war would have started, you can keep all your history revision the fuck away from me.

It’s really kind of sad that we still have so many people in this country that can’t come to grips with simple history. Of course there were factors other than slavery that the Civil War was wrapped-up in, but because slavery was so central to the war, it means that you can’t “honor” people who fought on the side that was fighting to keep slavery alive. It’s backwards thinking. It’s harmful thinking. They have every right to believe the bullshit, but we have every right and duty to call it that, bullshit, every single time they do it.

Clearly, if Gov. Phil Bryant is any indication, we’ll be calling them on it for a long time, or at least until we all die in the Trumpacolypse of 2017.


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