Vice President Mike Pence, while he was the Governor of Indiana, cut funding to Planned Parenthood and helped unleash an HIV epidemic in the Hoosier State. I just wanted to start this article with that fact. It’s important. It has nothing to do with the face he makes when farts, and that’s what this article is about. But I think it’s important, whenever discussing the lantern-jawed bigot that is our Christiofascist Vice-President, that we take pause to remember his religious sycophancy very probably got more people infected with the AIDS virus in his state than would have normally been if he’d have put the Bible the fuck down.

So, now, anyway, onto the fun and frivolity. I recently was writing an article for The Political Garbage Chuteand it was about Pence. In doing so, I was looking for a good photo of our vice-president so I could slice his face out of it and use it for the photoshop for the article. And as I was looking at row after row of his mug, it donned on me…dude makes a lot of “I just farted faces.” Sometimes it’s like he doesn’t want you to know, and other times it’s like he’s so proud of that fart he could burst…again.

I thought we could play a game together. So which of these following Mike Pence faces do you think is the one he makes when he really lets one rip. I’ll caption each one with the kind of fart I think the face represents. Tremendously fun, and really very mature. So here it goes!


I call this one, “Fuck yeah, I farted, and it was the best fart ever!”

This one is, “Maybe I farted, maybe I didn’t. What are you gonna do about it?”

“I didn’t fart, that guy fuckin’ farted! Seize him!”

This one is called, “Did I fart? Let me just check the ledger.”

“Not only did I fart, something came out with it.”

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.


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