LAKE NEOPHYTE, NEW JERSEY — Marcus Palumbozo is a well-known fixture in right-wing libertarian Internet circles. He has written several highly-cited, cherry-picked essays for right-wing think tanks like the Mises Institute and sites like Reason. In a piece he published today called, “What’s the Cost of One Day Out of the Kitchen?”, Palumbozo posited that International Women’s Day is a “sham of Cultural Marxism’s making” and that it’s days like these that have eroded family values, made black people more poor by nature, and generally prove that liberals are, in Palumbozo’s words, “libtarded libtards.”

“Why do women need a special day if they’re just looking for equal treatment,” Palumbozo asked our interviewer today, “I mean, just because the other 364 days of the year — 365 in a leap year like this one — men are the dominant, driving force in every single aspect of life that means we have to give up a day to women?” Palumbozo said that he feels women who celebrate International Women’s Day are “clearly misandrists, even if they don’t promote the idea that men are inferior to women for no reason other than they’re men.”

Palumbozo said he came to this conclusion when “six uppity girls in a row” wouldn’t give him their phone numbers at this year’s CPAC (Conservative Political Action Committee) forum. He knew that “since those tight asses” wouldn’t “give [him] any” that meant “society had already turned the tables on men.”

“Why should women to get all the say in who fucks and doesn’t,” he asked us,” just because they have a vagina and would be the ones either forced to have the baby and raise it unless she got an abortion — WHICH IS TOTALLY WRONG ALWAYS! — that’s why we have to respect them?”

Mr. Palumbozo was sure to tell us he’s “not a sexist” he just “doesn’t fight against the natural order of things.”

“Everyone knows women are just more suited for certain things than man are and vice versa,” Palumbozo said, “and I’m not talking about obvious, non-controversial things like child bearing and breastfeeding. I’m talking about how women just are naturally more inclined to be emotional and take liberal arts classes and that’s why they don’t ever make as much money as men do for the exact same job.”

When it’s all said and done, Marcus says he’d be okay with women having their own day “if they agreed to let men make all the decisions again.”

“Just look at how badly things went downhill after women got the right to vote in 1919,” Palumbozo said, “they get the right to vote in 1919, and then almost overnight, World War II, JFK’s assassination, Vietnam, Watergate, Iran Contra, 9/11 and the Iraq War happened. So you tell me, was it worth it to give women the same rights as us if it meant we’d get all that other stuff? That’s what I thought, libtarded morons, that’s what I thought.”


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