Corey Lewandowski was hired today to go work for CNN as a political commentator, which proves the old adage, “Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one.” Especially assholes, apparently. CNN just hired themselves another one, huh? What the living fuck? I cannot believe this is even for real. I guess there wasn’t enough room for him and Todd Starnes at FOX, because that would not have shocked me nearly as much.
First, Lewandowski is a human resources nightmare just waiting to happen. His history of threats and violence, specifically against reporters, is not exactly a big secret. I cannot fathom the apoplectic meltdown currently happening in the legal department at CNN headquarters right now, but I’d sure as shit love to be a fly on the wall during their conference call with their liability insurance company.
Next, dude has a non-disclosure agreement with Cheeto Jesus. He is contractually not allowed to reveal anything about Don the Con, nor is he allowed to say anything negative or “disparaging”. Somehow this does not line up with my idea of journalistic integrity. On the plus side, maybe the Trumpkins can stop complaining that the media is totes biased against them, because even when they quote Herr Trump straight up, “It’s all lies! It’s so unfair!”
Journalists have been quick to call out CNN for this obvious bullshit hire. However, Wolf Blitzer has been frighteningly silent.

Per Buzzfeed, a brief history of Lewandowski’s exploits:

Corey Lewandowski, the strategist was accused of pushing a CNN reporter who tried to ask the candidate a question; physically confronting an aide for a rival campaign in a post-debate spin room; publicly shouting threats over the phone at a restaurant; making sexual comments about female journalists; and calling up women in the campaign press corps late at night to make unwanted romantic advances.
He allegedly manhandled former Breitbart News reporter Michelle Fields at a Trump press conference in Florida. Not only did the incident result in Fields filing assault charges against Lewandowski, but the ensuing exodus from Breitbart — a conservative news site that seemed to side with the Trump campaign over their own reporter — generated days of headlines. Politico published an investigation last week that detailed other episodes in Lewandowski’s recent professional history, including one scene in which he allegedly shouted down a co-worker at a meeting and called her a “cunt” in front of colleagues.
In conversations with reporters, he has expressed frustration with female journalists covering the campaign while also voicing a wish to have sex with them. (source)

Twitter has had a few things to say as well.

Overall, I don’t think this is winning CNN any respectability points. I could be wrong, but based on the reactions, I doubt it. They aren’t even pretending to hire someone who is remotely neutral, even from within the Republican Party. They might as well be hiring John Miller himself.


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