What is it with Republicans electing people who talk a big game about the military, and America’s armed forces, but who have never once served a day in their life, and therefore have never put their own lives on the line in the way they ask young men and women to?

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not saying I blame anyone who decides they don’t want to die in someone else’s war with their precious time in this life. What I’m saying is that I can’t understand why Republicans don’t care that we see them electing chicken hawk after chicken hawk, all while demanding that we be willing to send our own kids to die in a far off land for the sake of national security. It just seems like the GOP is permanently enamored with putting guys in power who have a lot of bombast and rhetoric, but absolutely nothing to back up their talk.

Take, for instance, President Mushroom Cock and his national security adviser John Bolton. Both men, in their seventies, talk a really big and tough game. Yet, has either one of them taken the time to personally listen to the tape of Saudi thugs murdering The Washington Post’s Jamal Khashoggi?

The answer to that question is, “Nope. Neither have listened to it.”

Trump told reporters a couple weeks ago he didn’t need to listen to the tape because it’s a “vicious” tape and his advisers, according to The Most Truthful Man Ever anyway, told him he really shouldn’t. Then, yesterday, Bolton was asked by reporters if he’d at least listened to it, you know, being the national security adviser and all. His answer was that he hadn’t because he doesn’t speak Arabic. No, seriously, that was his answer.


Look — I’m not saying I’d charge headlong into a room that was playing the tape of Mr. Khashoggi’s torture and dismemberment with glee. I’m not saying I’d even sign up to listen to it if I was just a plain ol’ American dude, which of course I am. What I’m saying is that if it’s your job to brief the president on the most sensitive and potentially horrible things happening on the planet, you probably shouldn’t have a weak stomach for these kinds of tapes, and if you do, you probably shouldn’t go around begging for the U.S. to get involved in proxy wars that tend to make for situations wherein our allies might feel comfortable committing human rights atrocities like these…and if you’re the fucking President of the United States you should have the stomach for anything.

Is any of this surprising? No of course not. Is it infuriating because of how unsurprising it is? Of course it is. Do I have a point other than that John Bolton and Donald Trump are cowardly little chicken hawks?

Nah. I’m good leaving it there.

James‘ satire is found on: The Political Garbage Chute; HuffPostAlternative Science, Alternative Facts, Not Really.NewsThe Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts, and Modern Liberals


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