Back in 1986, Congress didn’t think Jeff Sessions was un-racist enough to get a federal judge’s bench seat. There were questions back then about how the Keebler lookin’ m-effer handled a case as a state prosecutor back in 1985 that involved accusations of voter registration tampering against three black men known as the Marion Three. During his Senate confirmation hearing a year later, congressmen grilled Sessions as to why he brought the Marion case to trial (all three men, one of which was a close friend of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. were acquitted after just a few hours of deliberation), and not similar cases involving similar allegations against, well, less black-ish looking people, if you catch my drift.

Sessions’ answers left much to be desired, and he was not confirmed. This led to most rational, sane people to conclude that Sessions is probably at least a weency-bit racist. But you know, I’ve been doing some thinking after I saw a clip of him on Trump State Media Fox News from last night. The elfin creature Sessions appeared on the show hosted by everyone’s favorite Permanently Fart-Faced host, Fucker Carlson, and they were talking about the administration’

“What good does it do to bring in somebody who’s illiterate in their own country,” Jeff asks us. I know it’s a cheap shot, but I thought of little Syrian refugee babies when he said that. They’re not literate, right? So is Sessions saying that we definitely don’t want little brown babies coming to America? Maybe he should’ve tried that line of reasoning around Christmastime, that would have really driven home his point.

Sessions is either saying brown refugee babies are a threat, or he doesn’t think his rhetoric out past the point where he knows it’ll tickle the taints of the mouth-breathers in his party who actually think a border wall will stop people from European or Asian countries from overstaying their visas. Either he genuinely thinks that babies from shithole countries are untrustworthy, or he’s an idiot with stupid talking points.

I guess it could be both, but I’m giving his wrinkled ass the benefit of the doubt here.

“And is going to struggle in our country and not be successful,” is the next really intriguing thing to traipse out of Sessions’ mouth. It seems to me like he’s saying “you can take the dumb, ignorant trash out of the shithole, but you can’t take the shithole out of the dumb ignorant trash.” That sounds remarkably racist, to condemn a poor person of color to a life of meaningless toil and wasted effort, of nothingness, really, because of the place they were expelled from their mothers’ uteruses from within. Like some imaginary lines on a map and economic indicators at the time of their birth play a part in shaping their worth.

It’s honestly one of the most shockingly un-American, and yet least surprising thing Sessions has said so far. It might even be the most un-American thing to come out of the Trump administration, which is saying a lot about a group who regularly assaults basic democratic institutions. What Jeff is really saying is that all people are not created equal, which is anathema to so much of what Americans of all political stripes believe about humanity. If we’re all created equal, then there is no reason to keep anyone from a shithole country out, just because they come from a shithole country.

And we won’t even touch why it’s so insensitive, cruel, and downright sinister in its cynicism to ignore the reason that so many shithole countries are shitholes. Namely, that reason is western, and often American, influence and meddling. We can just skip that for now and focus on Sessions’ horrifically uncool words about poor immigrants.

You can teach an immigrant to read; you can’t teach Jeff Sessions he doesn’t live in 1816, apparently.

Maybe Jeff isn’t racist. Maybe he just genuinely thinks people from “shithole” countries — people who would by happenstance be predominantly poor and of color — can’t do anything worthwhile, or even learn to read. It’s very possible, I must concede that Sessions isn’t racist; he just doesn’t think poor brown people can ever amount to much more than poor brown people. It’s funny, you might call that the “soft bigotry of low expectations” that Saint Ronald Reagan spoke about when blowing his own dog whistles about poor black people in this shithole country…

…but I mean, why would you want to go and use your critical thinking skills and shit, libtards?


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