Am I the only one who remembers how often Republicans called President Obama “lazy” or implied he wasn’t working hard for the American people? A lot of us assumed those kinds of comments were essentially dog whistles for the racists among them who genuinely think black people are inherently lazy and addicted to welfare, and perhaps we were right. But no matter what their motivation for saying those things about Obama, Donald Trump has personified them.

Just imagine if Barack Obama had done eight campaign rallies after he already won. The Republicans would be losing their mind and probably calling for impeachment just for the fact that he seemed more interested in campaigning than being president. Trump has gone on so many rally trips — which are helping to bankrupt the Secret Service protecting his fat, orange ass — that Wikipedia actually has an entry for them.

Check it out:

Frankly, I don’t care that Trump’s out whipping up his base. Currently, Gallup shows an approval rating of 35% for Apricot Pol Pot. He may claim that he had 15,000 people in Phoenix last night, but pictures from the rally prove completely otherwise. The truly sad part is that Trumpers were on Twitter last night trying to pass off photos of large crowds from other cities as being from Trump’s rally.

I keep looking for it, but I haven’t seen a single prominent Republican call Trump out for holding these rallies when he should be working. The amount of money spent to fly the president and his staff in Air Force One out to Phoenix cannot be a small one. Aren’t we being told by this administration that we can’t have Meals-on-Wheels or school lunch programs because we’re so broke? But this fat fuck moron can get a wild hair up his ass to have 4,000 screaming mouth breathers heap praise on him and we’ll pony up the cash, no questions asked?

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that.

So, since we’ll be waiting forever and ever for any elected Republican to criticize Trump for his post-victory campaign rallies, I decided to imagine how they’d respond to Barack Obama holding eight rallies in seven months in office. Let me know how I did.

Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA):

“Clearly the president is on the road, holding these lavish and expensive rallies at the taxpayers’ expense for one reason — he’s distracting us from something. The question is, what is the president trying to distract us from? It’s not like he was the beneficiary of a hostile foreign power’s attempts to sway the election in his favor. And it’s not like there’s evidence his own son tried to collude with that foreign power…so it’s obviously about BENGHAZI! BENGHAZI! BENGHAZI! Oh hey, why’d this guy Ben Gozzi just magically appear? Oh well, let’s go torch a warehouse!

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI):

“This president has shown a complete dearth of work ethic. In the month of August alone he held two rallies and took a seventeen day vacation. This is galling. It’s appalling. It’s not enthralling. And I’m gonna be calling…Mitch McConnell to let him know we are impeaching his socialist ass ASAP. We must do this for the good of the land, and then we must slice up the social safety net and help our rich masters — excuse me, constituents — profit to the utmost. Amen! I love Jesus Christ!”


Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY):

“The total abdication of his presidential duties is galling. It’s obvious this man has disdain for the American people like we’ve never seen before. If he thinks he can just milk the clock and spend his whole presidency getting admiration from his fanbase, and not be impeached for dereliction of duty, then he’s got another thing coming. Now if you’ll excuse me, I see something coming that scares me, and I must duck into my shell. You understand. God Bless America, God Bless Coal, and God Bless the Republican Party!”

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX):

“Stop calling me the Zodiac Killer! I’m not the Zodiac Killer! It’s not nice for you to keep calling me the Zodiac Killer! Now, if you could just point me in the direction of some unprotected, unsuspecting people I might be able to sneak up on? NO REASON, COMMIES!”




1/2 Governor Sarah Palin (R-Stupid AF):

“We all know you have to serve at least two years before you quit! Also: Mom jeans! You betcha! Alaska! Mama Bear! Chick-Fil-A! Did I say mom jeans yet?”


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