With the summer coming up, and everyone taking vacations, and of course the big June 4 boycott of Target, I thought this would be an excellent time to point out all the places to be extra cautious of if you want to remain unfailing in your application of “fraidy cat” scare tactics. Or for the sane among us who plan to do all our Target shopping on June 4 in peace, here is a quick guide of nice places to go this summer that should be free of self-righteous Kim Davis wanna-be Bible thumpers. You’re welcome!
First, here’s a map of cities and states that have laws in place with anti-LGBT discrimination laws. (Note: This means they are gonna frown on anybody taking it upon themselves to self-police genitalia in the potty rooms.) You will want to avoid these places on road trips as well.
Next, if you plan to boycott Target for their inclusive bathroom policy, you will also want to avoid these other stores with the same policies. Just to be consistent. I hate it for you, but bless your hearts, it’s really gonna suck when you can’t have those $5 coffees at the bookstore!
|Starbucks||Lord & Taylor||McDonald’s – by location||Toys ‘R Us|
|Sak’s Fifth Avenue||Barnes & Noble||Walgreens||JC Penny|
Finally, if you want to go all-in with your Jesus-Hate, I recommend you boycott the 407 companies that scored a perfect 100% on the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index. I know it might be a little bit hard, but Republican Jesus is counting on you patriotic Christians to stand up for traditional biblical values.
These Ginormous businesses not only support LGBTQ within their organizations, but they also contribute to the social acceptance and civil rights within the greater community. The easiest thing to do would be to stick with Chick Fil A and anything you can build from crap at Hobby Lobby, but you’re gonna want to buy that with cash and ride your shitty bicycle to and from just to be safe. Go ahead and pay off your mortgage, too, and most of you are gonna want to quit your day jobs. It’s probably safest just to go work for your church. Actually, I’m thinking most of you will find it easiest to be Amish.
Here is a list of some of the more commonly frequented places. You can find the complete list here:
Abercrombie American Express Aetna AT&T
American Eagle Bank of America Blue Cross Apple
Adidas Barclays Cigna Best Buy
Anheuser-Busch Capital One CVS Cisco
Ben & Jerry’s Citigroup American Airlines Comcast NBC
Bristol-Myers Discover Chevron Dell
Campbell’s Soup Ford Dow Chemical DirecTV
Coach General Motors General Electric DropBox
Coca-Cola Hartford Hilton eBay
ConAgra Foods John Hancock Hyatt Facebook
Estee Lauder Mastercard JetBlue GameStop
Gap Mattel Marriott Google
General Mills McGraw Hill MetLife Hewlett Packard
Hallmark MillerCoors Nationwide Intel
Hershey Nestle Nissan Intuit
Home Depot Nike Nordstrom Microsoft
IKEA Office Depot Orbitz Oracle
Johnson & Johnson PepsiCo PayPal Prudential
Kellogg Proctor & Gamble Shell SIRIUS XM
Kraft Sony Southwest Air Sprint
Land O Lakes Staples Starwood State Farm
Macy’s Time Warner T-Mobile Twitter
Y’all have an awesome summer! Oh, and don’t forget NASCAR and the NBA. Those guys are super-pissed about the new Hate Laws, and they’ve spoken out against them as well. You’ll want to skip pretty much all the sporting events, beer companies, airlines, car companies, food, computers, and for the love of GAWD every social media creator known to man.
Consistency is a virtue!