Happy Fathers Day to white, conservative, Christian, straight, married Dads everywhere (in the United States)!
On this Fathers Day, we at the NRA would like to share with you some of the things we’re working on, and against, to keep guns in the hands of anyone who wants one.
Obviously by now, you have heard about the tragic ISIS attack in Orlando, Florida. The terrorist, Omar Something, was a member of ISIS. And Hamas. And Al-Qaeda. And possibly The Sierra Club. This man, angered by our freedoms, investigated twice by the ineffective FBI, massacred 49 gay Mexicans at a popular nightclub.
Now, we at the NRA know what you’re thinking: Why should I give a crap about gay Mexicans? They were probably all illegal. Well, perhaps, but the liberals are using this terrorist attack as another reason to take all our guns away. As we have seen in the past, Obama will round up all the gun owners, and put us in FEMA camps.  Has it happened yet? Not that we know of, but hundreds of people go “missing” every year, and we at the NRA wonder how many of those are gun owners.

A bunch of liberal senators (and Joe Manchin, with whom we are having a stern talking right now) got together and filibustered for 15 hours. They want guns removed from America, they want to overturn the sacrosanct Second Amendment (we hear angels whenever we type that…Second Amendment…yep…ahhh…), and they want to disarm every patriotic, red-blooded, white, conservative, Christian, straight, married Dad in this used-to-be-great-country-until-the-blacks-and-the-gays-took-over .
And Mom!
Moms buy guns! Moms want to defend their families, and shoot people at soccer games, and wear a holstered Glock to the grocery store, and of course, Moms buy pink guns to help cure breast cancer. Breast cancer, by the way, kills a lot more women than guns do, but liberals don’t want to ban breast cancer, do they?
We at the NRA want you to know we are doing everything we can to keep guns in the hands of dangerous people so they commit mass shootings and you idiots go out and buy more guns make certain our (white, conservative, Christian, straight, married) Moms and Dads can own as many guns as you want. Need a portable Gatling gun? Heck, if you can find it on Armslist, we will fight for your right to carry it to the bar. The goal of the NRA is to always protect the rights of gun owners, even over the rights of innocent people who just want to go dancing, or see a movie, listen to their congresswoman speak, go to church, or attend college.
We’re having some amazing Fathers Day sales, so stop by our website and pick something fun up for Dad!
Happy Fathers Day from the NRA


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