I call Donald Trump “President-Elect Fuckwit” for a lot of reasons. Mostly, it’s the things that come out of his mouth or leap onto his Twitter feed. There are a lot of people out on the Intertubes telling people that when President-Elect Fuckwit tweets out horrifying shit like this, he’s “trolling.”


I have no idea of he’s just trolling or not, but I’m really tickled by the idea that people who for years have claimed that Obama has no respect for the Constitution are now totally okay with their president-elect even joking about revoking citizenship over lawful expression of free speech. Just imagine the hyperbolic, hand-wringing tantrums that Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh would throw if Obama even hinted that he was cool with jailing people for expressing themselves. Oh wait, they’re authoritarian nationalist scumbags so they’d probably applaud Obama or at the very least start believing he’s actually a white guy in not-so-dark blackface, wouldn’t they?

Flag burning has been protected speech in this country since 1989, so attempts to dismiss this are completely absurd.  Of course, I type that as if “Trump” and “completely absurd” are foreign to each other. They’re not. But he’s still going to be our president (Thanks Undemocratic Founding Fathers!). But it still has to be said, at least for posterity. We have to, at the very least, mark the time and place that a soon-to-be sitting president actually suggested he’d like to see someone thrown in jail or kicked out of the country for using their freedom of speech in a way he personally finds offensive, because that is the first step onto the plank from which the republic leaps head-first into the shark tank.

Man, and here I thought Trump’s election was us jumping the shark, not feeding the Constitution to them.

At the very least this means Trump’s not up on his constitutional law. But clearly he doesn’t even understand how the Constitution works, so him not even knowing about Texas vs. Johnson isn’t really surprising. Hell, normally I’d not worry about it too much because it’s not like Dubya was a Constitutional scholar like Obama is. But the difference is that for all his flaws, and Georgey boy had a million of them, he at least knew that he didn’t know everything and that he should surround himself with people who do.

How many of us would take a third Dubya term in trade for no Trump terms? I would. Because at least Bush knew not to stoke terrorists by declaring every Muslim a potential threat. At least Bush never actually threatened to deport or strip people of their citizenship for something this is wholly legal and protected by the very framework of our nation’s government. Trump, whether he’s “trolling” or not, is the first president to cross that barrier in a long, long time.

You know what though? Fuck him if he is trolling. As a comedian, I take license to troll anyone and everyone. But that’s also because I know I’ll never ask for permission to use The Big Red Button. I know I’m not presidential material, and so I act accordingly. Trump is acting like the asshole jock douchebag quarterback in his small town that everyone tells is going to be an NFL star one day, but who has mostly just managed to fail upward. This tweet though, shows that his comical idiocy can also belie a truly horrific future for us all.

Where are all the outraged Republicans over this tweet? Where’s Ted Cruz? He supposedly loves the Constitution so much he asked it to be his wife, and it rightly turned him down because, well, he’s Ted Fucking Cruz. But why wasn’t there a tweet right under Trumps, from Teddy Boy, calling him out for this shit?

Where’s Paul Ryan? Someone get that weightlifting Dudebro Of The House on the line and ask him for me if he thinks this is acceptable. This is the closest step toward authoritarian censorship we’ve taken in a long, long time in this country. Doesn’t Ryan’s hero Ayn Rand have something to say about this? Well, dig her up and ask her, once you get her Social Security checks away from her, of course.

Disturbing. That’s what this tweet is, no matter how you slice it. Disturbing.

President-Elect Fuckwit is either:

  1. Blissfully unaware of a landmark Supreme Court case that protects an offensive, if not vital form of protest against our government
  2. Willfully distracting everyone with an inflammatory, completely unconstitutional proposition to distract us from something far more devastating
  3. Trolling people like a drunken frat boy on a Saturday night.

Which of those, I ask Republicans, is the leader you wanted Obama to be? Something tells me the answer would be, “Shut up libtard!” Because they can’t defend this, not with any kind of logic. I’ve seen some idiots call flag burning “arson,” but that’s because they don’t know what the word means and can’t spell “dictionary” let alone use one to look the definition up. This is settled case law that Trump is trying to go back on with a FUCKING TWEET.

Maybe all the Trump Is Hitler stuff, while funny, got out of hand during the election. But you know what? He’s pretty much doing exactly what we all thought he would. Trashing the office of the presidency. Ignoring precedent and all sense of normalcy. And generally shitting all over the spirit and letter of the law. How this asshole makes it ten days as president is beyond my ability to understand.

Oh wait. he’s a Republican, and they’ve lusted after power in D.C. and the White House specifically for a decade. They’re going to do everything they can to protect him. So what do we do? Well, for starters, I’m planning on sewing a big Trump face patch to a confederate flag and burning it as soon as I can. I’ll post the video when I do. But after that, I plan to do the only thing I can do…write a piece about it every time it happens. Tweet it. Share it on Facebook.

Maybe if enough people stay alert and see the rapid decline of our civil liberties they’ll fight back. Maybe in 2018 liberals will show up and flip Congress. It’s not much but hope, but as the heroine in the upcoming Star Wars: Rogue One film says, “Rebellions are built on hope.”

I just hope it’s enough. Because things are getting pluperfectly fucked and the Apricot Pol Pot hasn’t even put his tiny hands on the Bible and been sworn-in yet.

Who needs a cocktail/recreational bong hit?

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.