The New York Times reported Thursday that the cost of membership to the exclusive golf club Mar-a-Lago had just doubled to $200,000. But this is in no way cashing in on the fact that its owner is now the president*.

Oh, but yes, this is the Trump family’s private club, and Trump has begun referring to it as The Winter White House. There has been a huge increase in applications to the exclusive club since Trump became President of the United States*. He has also made it clear he plans to spend time there.

The question is obvious then: are people buying an opportunity to possibly spend time with the president*? Well fucking duh!

But we have been reassured there is absolutely nothing to see here kids! Move along now! The presidency is not enriching Trump in any way whatsoever! And how can we be sure?

The Trump Organization has appointed two new ethics monitors to advise in situations just like these. I’m not sure what they are advising to whom, but this should certainly put your minds at ease.

Also, Bobby Burchfield, a longtime Republican Party lawyer and corporate litigator, has been brought on as an “independent ethics adviser.”

Eric Trump, one of the new President’s* sons, was quoted saying, “We take our role and the responsibility we have to our company, and our thousands of employees, very seriously.”

Somehow, I’m not comforted. And it appears I’m not the only one.

But Robert Weissman, the president of the government ethics watchdog group Public Citizen, said the selection of Mr. Burchfield and the decision to double the Mar-a-Lago initiation fee demonstrated that the Trump Organization was unprepared to confront the ethics challenges it now faces.

“At the minimum, this creates the appearance of cashing in on the presidency and selling direct personal access to the president,” Mr. Weissman said of the new Mar-a-Lago fee. “It is unacceptable. And it demeans the office of the presidency.”(Source)

Oh, there are so many things happening right this moment that demean the office, I can’t even…even…but yes, this certainly is one of them. On one hand, I’m all for selling access to our nation’s number one douche; we could use the proceeds collected from all the morons to feed hungry children in schools. On the other hand, that still sounds like a great idea, so screw it.

The Trump administration faces a particularly daunting task in confronting potential conflicts of interest, or the appearances of such, given the president’s refusal to legally separate himself from his business. He has instead handed it to his children — a decision that has drawn the ire of ethics experts.

Yeah, everybody’s mad but nobody’s doing anything. Here’s looking at you, Paul Ryan! The White House has now also hired a team of attorneys (how much is this costing us?) to deal with compliance and ethics, and they are all insiders from the Republican Party. I’m sure they will be paying loads of attention to all the details. From the guy who handled Gingrich and Hastert, to the one who counseled DeLay and Rove, we’ve definitely got a rounded out team of nonpartisan ethics experts up in there!

Oh. No. We don’t. We have the I Just Fucked Up Dream Team!

Someone bless my heart please. I need it today.


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