I remember when George W. Bush finally left office in 2009 that I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. The Bush Years were an unmitigated nightmare of unfunded wars, ill-advised returns to Trickle Down Economics, and a brash, bumper sticker patriotism that was equal parts bravado, hubris, and misplaced confidence in our infallible nature as Americans to only do the right thing, spreading democracy with bombs and unilateral military action. Someone once said that the W administration was a “shoot first, aim later” type of organization, and as Barack Obama took office, I was hoping that it would be an end to the Bush Doctrine.

You and I may disagree on just how much Obama dragged us away from that era of stupidity, and I would argue not nearly enough. But it’s becoming increasingly clear that eight years of a relatively reasoned foreign policy kicked up one hell of a derpy hornet’s nest on the right because the man they elected — with the help of the Electoral College’s anti-democratic “wisdom” — makes the brain trust behind the Dubya Times look like fucking Nobel laureates.

From what I can tell, this tweet proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Republicans have ceded any kind of claim to being the “adults in the room” on foreign policy. And it shows they’ve gone from supporting presidents like Teddy Roosevelt, who had a penchant for war but at least knew the wisdom behind not loudly proclaiming you have the biggest gun, “speaking softly and carrying a big stick,” as it were. The Trump Doctrine is like the Teddy Roosevelt quote, but just way different and not the same at all.


Speak loudly, and wave your little dick around like a drunken Harvey Weinstein.

The greatest part, of course, has to be Trump’s team of sycophants actually cheering on the dotard. I can’t tell you how many stupid comments I’ve read in support of that tweet, claiming Obama would have just licked Un’s balls or something. Forget that Trump is playing a game of nuclear chicken we actually are hoping he’s not stupid enough to follow through on. Forget that even in that scenario he’s creating the kind of red line with North Korea that the right screeched and bellowed about Obama drawing with Iran. We’ve blown past the “Iraq Had WMD” crowd of mouth-breathing simple minded fuckwitted Republicans and pulled right up to the drive-thru window at a new restaurant where they serve deep-fried stupidity and gravy smothered tantrums.

None of these douchebags howling and cheering Trump on give a lick of consideration to the people of South Korea that would be absolutely annihilated if Trump strikes North Korea first. Some I’ve even seen claim that Un is so like Hitler, that justifies an attack. Because you know, if you’re going up against someone who wants to kill millions of people, you launch an attack guaranteed to kill millions of people. America First really does mean “I only think about America, and by America I only mean conservative Republican Christians.”

Nuclear conflagration used to be something that every president, regardless of political party, knew was something to avoid, and not dangle like a moronic carrot from your tiny orange fingers. Yes, JFK was a war mongering liar about our missile gap with Russia, but from Carter on, every president — Saint Ronald Reagan included — did everything in their power to reduce the threat of nuclear winter, not tap dance on it like a gleeful buffoon.

Now, I’m not a guy who does conspiracy theories, or really theories at all. But I have a pet idea, and I think it holds water.

This story just dropped…


While this article will get tons of attention because Bannon uses the words “treasonous” and “unpatriotic” to describe that now-infamous meeting at Trump Tower he attended with Don Jr., Jared Kushner, and Russian lawyers. But I think in the larger scheme of things, his comments about money laundering are what Bannon’s hand-tip should really focus on. He thinks Robert Mueller is making a money laundering case, and what we already know from Congressional testimony about Russia’s intense desire to end Magnitsky Act sanctions I think shows something pretty obvious that no die-hard Trump supporter will ever admit…

…Trump’s presidency is just a money laundering scheme for Putin and his cronies. Period. They wanted the Magnitsky Act killed because it costs Putin billions personally. And they figured the guy they cultivated, who they have blackmail evidence on — Pee-Pee Tape or no Pee-Pee Tape — would be the perfect mark to either help them kill the law, or to wash cash for them.

That’s all just my conjecture. But I would not be surprised at all if Trump’s idiotic tweets to Un are just him using his tiny orange tail to wag his stupid dog. It would seem things are heating up on many fronts, and I just hope I can build my fallout shelter before the footsteps of Mueller at the White House front door cause Trump to overreact and hit that big red button on his desk.

James’ satirical works can be found on The Political Garbage ChuteThe Pastiche Post, and Alternative Facts.


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