To absolutely no one’s surprise, the 1990’s era stand-up comedian-turned-TV star Tim Allen is a conservative, and recently “came out” as such on Fox News to Megyn Kelly. The conservative network’s prize anchor then told Allen he was “very brave” for being someone who works in Hollywood and is openly conservative. This assertion made me laugh so hard.

Firstly, anyone who is surprised that the guy who made a name for himself as an openly strident misogynist who embraced “traditional” gender roles and literally grunted like a cave man to show his male dominance is conservative is an idiot. Let me repeat that — you’re an idiot if you were surprised that Tim Allen is conservative. I’m not saying you should judge a book by its cover, I’m just saying that no one should be surprised that he’s not Stephen Colbert, and that he was just playing himself on “Home Improvement.”

Kelly is just the latest Fox News flapping face to float this absolutely absurd notion that Republicans in Hollywood have to be closeted.

Firstly, boo-fucking-hoo. Conservatives have to be closeted somewhere? Gee, maybe if they weren’t the party of literally trying to keep a segment of the population in the closet I’d have even a modicum of sympathy, but I don’t. Secondly, tell Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know, the former governor of California that being a Republican is bad for your image in Hollywood. Thirdly, and much more importantly — it’s not very brave to declare yourself a conservative in a country where the majority if people still label themselves as Christians and where roughly half of us are Republicans in the first fucking place.

You know what’s brave, Megyn Kelly? Being an open atheist. That takes guts.

Pew Research published an online article in November of 2015 called “7 Facts About Atheists” and the most key factor discussed in the piece is that in 2014, only 3% of those polled self-identified as an atheist.

The share of Americans who identify as atheists has roughly doubled in the past several years. Pew Research Center’s 2014 Religious Landscape Study found that 3.1% of American adults say they are atheists when asked about their religious identity, up from 1.6% in a similarly large survey in 2007. An additional 4.0% of Americans call themselves agnostics, up from 2.4% in 2007.(source)

You get up to 7% of you throw in agnostics, but the bottom line is that in this country, openly declaring that you don’t believe that God exists is more unpopular than socialism, which doesn’t deserve the lunacy it elicits, but that’s another discussion. In 2012, a Gallup poll showed that if you were either a Muslim or an atheist, barely over half of those who responded would vote for you for president. And in a country that has been so ginned-up with faux-fear of Muslims, atheists actually finished behind them, with 43% of respondents saying that wouldn’t vote for an atheist.

Megyn Kelly is just another mouthpiece of the entitled Christian Right in this country. They think that religious freedom should only extend as far as it takes to ram Christianity — and not just any Christianity, but right-wing, intolerant, not-very-Christian Chrisianity to boot — down our throats. Kelly has helped feature stories on Fox News that foster this notion among conservatives that evangelical Christians are persecuted in this country when the furthest thing from the truth is reality.

Sure, perhaps many millions of us don’t think someone’s religion should be used as the basis for a discriminatory law, but that doesn’t mean Christians are repressed. It just means they don’t get special treatment for being Christians, and that they still need to have respect for other people’s religions, or lack thereof. They seem to really misunderstand what the First Amendment’s protections of religious expression mean.

Ultimately, until people in this country look at the religious demographic breakdowns and realize that atheists are far outnumbered, people like Kelly will continue to get away with propping up tropes like “It’s brave to be a conservative in Hollywood,” or anywhere in America for that matter. I don’t hold any hope out that in my lifetime atheists won’t be treated like just one-step up from barbarians, if that, but a man can hope, can he not?

Watch Megyn suck-up to Tim Allen and completely abuse the words “very brave” below, courtesy of Media Matters:


  1. Of course, the fact Tim Allen did Federal time for 1.5lbs of coke is mentioned nowhere. He only served 5 years because he cooperated, and assisted the government in prosecuting his associates in return for a lesser sentence. Nice guy.

    So before today he was a convicted felon, drug dealer and a rat. Now he’s a Conservative convicted felon, drug dealer and a rat.

    He’s all yours.


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