As I watch the country be bent over and methodically pussy grabbed by the Trump administration, anger and frustration over the arcane bullshit that is the Electoral College intensifies. No matter how you look at it, the Electoral College makes it so that real human beings take a back seat to empty fields and fruited plains.

And as I listened to my governor’s state of the state address the other day, he listed a fact that made me even more convinced that the Electoral College is a worthless piece of shit. Funny how putting a worthless piece of shit in the White House twice in twenty years with it would do a thing like that, huh? Anyway, the statistic Governor Jerry Brown gave was that one out of every eight Americans lives in my state. That is fucking crazy to think about. There are about 330 million Americans, roughly, and 38 million of them live right here with me.

It’s funny, but I always used to hear the phrase, “Power to the people,” and assume that most Americans understand that while we have beautiful territory all across this continent, it’s the human beings living here that make the decisions. And the only real fair way to have a group make a decision that impacts everyone is to let the idea with the most support win. Yes, of course this means you could have a group of people all decide on something horrific, but that’s how it goes. As it is, this past November 62 million Americans made a grave mistake together, so I get that everyone would be afraid of people voting to give up some freedom or another and that being a bad idea.


States don’t vote. People do. Territory doesn’t vote, people do. Natural resources — like our beautiful forests, lakes, rivers, mountains, fields, and farms — don’t actually vote either. People do. Of course with a country like ours we should have each state be equally represented in our government, and we do. In Congress. The House is made up of representatives that are roughly proportional to the population of each state. The Senate has true equality with each state — no matter how big or small — getting exactly two Senators. It’s kinda great that way, and it makes sense. Congress is a body that represents fifty separate entities; but that doesn’t mean the same theory should apply to the president.

The president is one person. And he or she is supposed to represent all Americans equally as it is. Frankly if I had been alive during the days that the Constitution was being written, and were I to have a seat at the drafting table, I’d look at James Madison and crew with sideways glances for suggesting such a thing. The smaller states don’t have to worry about being roughshod over by the bigger ones because they have equal representation in Congress, who — on paper at least — have co-equal powers to the president. So no matter how you slice it, the Electoral College is just meaningless, antidemocratic bureaucracy.

When the founders created the Constitution, sure, there were a lot more lesser-educated people. They may have had some reason to fear for some kind of mass ignorance to vote in a demagogue and tyrant. But what just happened last year proves that they didn’t have the gift of foresight. In fact, they pretty much made the gun that Americans put up to their heads and pulled the trigger on last year.

Not only do a full 1/8th of all Americans live in California, our economy is the sixth largest…on the planet. We have the economic power of several so-called rural states combined. When Timmy Lahren flaps her stupid face off about how “real” Americans live in the red states I want to plotz because I want to ask her how she thinks those real Americans would survive without the tax revenue my state provides.

As much as shit as conservatives talk about California, do any of them really think the country is better without us? For all our hippy-dippy libtardism, we give more to the United States in terms of spending power than any other state. I’ve seen and heard conservatives bitch and moan about how California gets so many Electoral College votes, and that we have to have the Electoral College to keep our state from tyrannizing everyone.

Excuse the fuck out of me? Since when is it our fault that we have more Americans here? And since when the ever loving fuck is casting a vote in good faith tyranny? Oh wait, I know when. When it doesn’t give conservatives what they want, that’s when. There simply is no good argument for telling a state as important as California that they don’t really get to have a say in who the president is.

We watch people fawn over Ohio, Iowa, and New Hampshire. But the combined populations of those three primary states still don’t make up half the number of Americans living in California. There is no way to look at this situation and not conclude that the Electoral College is pretty much an academic exercise in voter suppression. It literally suppresses the value of votes that don’t go along with the majority of people in your state, so in a way, I’m arguing to make elections fairer for people in my state who wouldn’t vote the way I do.

Why in the name of all that is holy should rural Americans, who are not the majority of Americans by far, get to have their votes count so many times more than mine? Shouldn’t the states that actually generate the economic power of our nation get to have equal say in who we elect? It’s far past time to let one person get one vote, regardless of which state they live in. It’s literally the only fair way to vote for the one office that represents each and every state.

…and no, I won’t shut up about it. Not while Bushes and Trumps are elected because of it.

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.


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