Trump_nuclear_codesDear Diary,
Donald Trump has formed a Christian Cabinet, and he chose me to be part of it! I am so honored, especially since I will be serving on this Christian Cabinet with other wonderful Christians like James Dobson, Jerry Falwell, Jr., Robert Jeffress, and Ralph Reed. It’s obvious why we were chosen: we hate the same people Jesus hated, we love guns (Jesus loved guns), and we value life above all else, as long as it isn’t born yet.
And of course, we all hate homosexuals. Homosexuals are destroying this great nation. Diary, here are some examples of these great Christians Donald Trump is enlisting to take on the homosexual mafia.

James Dobson:

For more than 50 years, the homosexual activist movement has sought to implement a master plan that has had as its centerpiece the destruction or redesign of the family. Many of these objectives have largely been realized, including widespread support of the gay lifestyle, discrediting of Scriptures that condemn homosexuality or sexual immorality, muzzling of the clergy and Christian media, inclusion of gays and lesbians in all branches of the military, granting of special privileges and rights in the law, overturning laws prohibiting pedophilia, indoctrinating children and future generations through public education, and securing all the legal benefits of marriage for any two or more people who claim to have homosexual tendencies. By promoting what is known as LGBT, we must remember that the “B” stands for bisexuality. That would include acceptance of sexual relations between both genders in groups and among every category of sexual expression outside the bonds of marriage. Now the proponents of LGBT seek to legalize gay and lesbian marriage, which could mean anything or nothing in a few years.

Amazing, right? He is truly a follower of Jesus.
Then there is the always holy Jerry Falwell, Jr. During an interview with socialist PBS, he was asked a bunch of questions about homosexuality. Here’s a snippet (I love that word):

Obviously, you believe that homosexuality is a choice.
Oh yes–all behaviors.
Do you believe that it’s a choice for everyone? Do you believe there may be some people for whom it’s not a choice, that it’s their sexual orientation?
No, I don’t believe that. I believe that all of us are born heterosexual, physically created with a plumbing that’s heterosexual, and created with the instincts and desires that are basically, fundamentally, heterosexual. But I believe that we have the ability to experiment in every direction. Experimentation can lead to habitual practice, and then to a lifestyle. But I don’t believe anyone begins a homosexual. They begin the way God made them: male, female, with all the dispositions that are built in. If they choose to be bisexual or transgendered or homosexual, they’re human beings, and they have the ability to do it. But as a Christian, biblically, scripture makes very clear that it’s an immoral position. Even Romans I says that at some point, when they finally are just so committed to doing that. The quote from the King James is, “God gives them over to a reprobate mind,” or a malformed mind.
Does homosexuality present a threat to American society as we know it?
I think it does, if it’s normalized. We will see a breakdown of the family and family values if we decide to approve same-sex marriage, and if we decide to establish homosexuality as an acceptable alternative lifestyle with all the benefits that go with equating it with the heterosexual lifestyle. Everything that America is built on–basically the Judeo-Christian ethic–will be down the tubes.

He is 100% right. They choose to be that way so they can sue bakers and tongue kiss on the street in front of our children and seduce our husbands mock God. They are destroying our nation with their sin and sex toys and tight jeans.
Robert Jeffress is another truly devout Christian, who understand how dangerous homosexuals really are. He frequently compares homosexual men to pedophiles, which is a correct comparison. Diary, homosexuals use children’s programs, like “Teletubbies,” to reach out to little kids. There was one of those things who carried a purse. Seriously, how stupid do liberals think we are? But here is what Bob said about homosexual pedophiles:

Amazingly, some gay activists don’t even try to hide the link between homosexuality and pedophilia. There are some who are right now are actively involved in trying to legalize sex between adults and children by lowering the age of consent or removing it altogether. In all fairness, it would be wrong to suggest that all homosexuals are pedophiles, it would be wrong to even suggest that a majority of homosexuals are pedophiles, but the truth nevertheless is there. There are a disproportionate amount of assaults against children by homosexuals than by heterosexuals, you can’t deny that, and the reason is very clear: homosexuality is perverse, it represents a degradation of a person’s mind and if a person will sink that low and there are no restraints from God’s law, then there is no telling to whatever sins he will commit as well.

One thing I disagree with here is when Bob says it would be wrong to suggest all homosexuals are pedophiles. There is no proof that they’re not, so we can say whatever we want.
Finally, the always fantastic Ralph Reed. Ralphie has been on the pro-family battlefield for a very long time. He understands hate crime laws that protect homosexuals violate the Bible, he understands that creating “safe” workplaces for homosexual federal employees would be a “dagger aimed at the heart of religious freedom for millions of Americans,” and he cannot believe the Boy Scouts would let in homosexuals.
It will be an honor to serve President Trump in his Christian Cabinet. To be honest Diary, I didn’t even know Donald went to church. But as long as he hates the poor, the homosexuals, the Muslims, the blacks, the liberals, and loves guns, God, war, and the death penalty, I’m sure it will all work out.
Marcus is so proud of me! We Skyped earlier today, because he is in San Francisco this week for a seminar on saving homosexuals. From what I understand, the week culminates with some sort of male-bonding parade this coming Sunday.
Wish me luck! Love, Christian Cabinet Member Michele xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
{Note from the writer: Normally, I do not include links in The Bachmann Diaries. However, given how truly awful the people Trump has chosen as his “evangelical advisers” are, it was important to highlight at least some of the evil in their hearts. To see a list of Trump’s other “advisers,” please visit this Politico link.}


  1. Just meeting with Batshit Bachmann is proof enough that Trump’s too much of crazy incompetent to be a responsible President.


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