Donald Trump had his Vice President selection narrowed down to six, then he had ten. But at the rate the contenders are dropping out, he can’t have them vetted quickly enough. Every time The Donald opens his mouth, another candidate runs in the opposite direction.
Most recently, Senator Bob Corker (R-Tenn) and Senator Joni Ernst (R-Iowa) have both withdrawn from consideration for Vice President.
Corker’s excuse was pretty goddamn lame:
“I feel like I’m better suited to other kinds of things and I think there are probably better suited people for this particular job for now,” Corker told CNN on Capitol Hill.
But to give him a little bit of credit, he did offer an alternative option, Trump’s daughter Ivanka. Yes, he was being serious…It appeared. He did admit it probably wouldn’t fly – ya think? – but the sheer absurdity of it almost distracted from his complete lack of interest in the job and his inability to formulate a decent reason. On top of that, he completely threw every other Republican under the bus, because he basically told them all he felt like Ms. Platinum Spoon was more qualified to be Second in Command than any of them. (Or did he do them all a huge favor? This whole thing has me really confused. I am no longer sure who is on what side, to be honest.)
Even Trump Jr. agreed his sister would be great. Her qualifications?
“She’s got the beautiful looks. She’s smart, she’s smart, smart, smart. Yeah, she’s certainly got my vote,” he said. source
Beauty before brains. Perfect. I think that’s the most telling endorsement for a jacked up Republican ticket I’ve heard this election. ‘Murica.
Ernst was more graceful with her exit, which did not take much:
“I made that very clear to him that I’m focused on Iowa. I feel that I have a lot more to do in the United States Senate. And Iowa is where my heart is,” Ernst said Wednesday. “I’m just getting started here. I have a great partner with Chuck Grassley, we’ve been able to accomplish a lot. And I think that President Trump will need some great assistance in the United States Senate and I can provide that.” source
Ernst gave the nod to Governor Mike Pence, which at least makes sense, comparatively, and doesn’t make her sound totally insane, although I do wonder if she regrets her close relationship to Grassley after his little performance today. That poor guy needs a hobby that does not involve constantly reenacting the Salem Witch Trials starring himself as The Asshole.
At this point it looks like we are back to Chris Christie and Newt Gingrich for the top two picks for The Donald, with Pence running third. Based on that, I guess the biggest qualifications for VP this election are the number of scandals and lack of political future. Or maybe it’s just Old White Man? It must be Christmas in July for the Democrats this year.