If it’s a day that ends in “Y” or some other cliche joke about the frequency of time you want to make, then it’s a good bet that President-Elect Fuckwit Trump is using his Twitter account to completely undermine his gravitas and authority as the soon-to-be most powerful man in the free world. I’ve seen some smug right-wingers comparing Trump’s use of Twitter to FDR’s “Fireside Chats,” which is a pretty idiotic comparison to make because Roosevelt wasn’t using the chats to single out one union boss, or a comedy troupe that makes fun of everything that’s so easy to mock about him in the first place. FDR wasn’t using his weekly addresses to whine about how he was being treated. In fact, FDR in one very famous speech welcomed the hate, scorn, and derision of his critics.

The really sad thing, to me, is that our poor kids are going to have to study his goddamned tweets in school some day. Can you imagine?

“Mom, today I learned that a guy who was elected president once tweeted that global warming was a hoax created by the Chinese government to make our manufacturing less competitive. Also, can we go to the beach later?”

“Sorry, son, we don’t live near enough to Nevada to get to the beach today, but don’t forget your SPF 5,000,000 sunblock when you go out today!”

And just in case you thought that example was comedic hyperbole, the troglodyte’s tweet from 2012:


To no one’s surprise, today Trump’s whiny tweets were about the big story of the day — namely whether Mother Russia helped him become president or not. So let’s just dive right into the bewigged bloviator’s cringe worthiness, shall we?

First up, technically this tweet came last night, but it fits right into the theme of this morning’s tweets.


Why is it that every other president to date has managed to take criticism and negative coverage in the press without whining about it every day? Oh, that’s right. Because Trump isn’t a seasoned politician who understands criticism comes with the job. He’s an out of touch billionaire douchebag who thinks he’s above criticism at all. I keep forgetting that. Clearly he doesn’t though.

So here’s the first Tweet the Twit in Chief To Be sent out today.


Someone should tell Trump and his acolytes that the issue isn’t some wild-eyed accusation of Russian interference. This is pretty much the CIA saying, “We know Russia meddled with our shit.” The only real disagreement in the intelligence community seems to be over whether Russia messed with the election to help Trump specifically or to just sew the seeds of chaos in this country. Either way, I’d have to say they succeeded, provided the CIA’s assessment is accurate.

It should also be pointed out to the Orange Barf Bag that he tried to call the legitimacy of the election into question before a single vote was cast. We’re talking now about pretty damning circumsantial evidence that suggests the election was tampered with. Most people aren’t even going out on a limb to say that Russia’s efforts were what put Trump over the top, but this tweet really does smack of “Thou doth protest too much.” Shouldn’t Trump want to have his election truly verified for integrity, just to  be sure, especially since he himself expressed doubts about “illegals” voting in California?

It’s not a conspiracy theory when there’s evidence to support it, Dipshit Donald.

Then there was this next tweet, just minutes after the first.


Okay, for starters, he’s full of shit. As someone with a long time in the IT industry, let me just say that it’s not very hard to determine where hackers are coming from, not really anyway. They can hide behind proxies and firewalls, but if an Internet Service Provider, or ISP, is willing to help, it’s not that hard to track down where attacks originate from. Otherwise, the CIA or pretty much any IT shop in the country wouldn’t be able to ever identify where their cyber attacks are coming from, and reality dictates that’s a stupid thing to assume is true.

One of the coolest features of Twitter is being able to see other people’s Tweets. One response Trump got was to his claim that the issue of Russian hacking wasn’t brought up before now. As this Washington Post from October shows, the issue of Russian influence on the election wasn’t something being discussed in secret, and isn’t some new, far-fetched conspiracy theory.

U.S. government officially accuses Russia of hacking campaign to interfere with elections

The Obama administration on Friday officially accused Russia of attempting to interfere in the 2016 elections, including by hacking the computers of the Democratic National Committee and other political organizations.

The irony of course is that everyone is at least partially blaming the “filter bubbles” that liberals and conservatives live in  for Trump’s victory. And clearly Trump either exists in such a bubble or at least pretends to. Because a lot of us were aware of the Russian hacking story for a long time before this point.

Whether or not Trump’s tweeting habits wind-up being just a national embarrassment, or a national tragedy instead, remains to be seen. I guess it all depends on whether he can actually govern via Twitter. Something tells me he’s dumb enough to try.

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.