Alabama Governor Robert Bentley made it clear in a prepared statement yesterday he does not intend to resign his position. Bentley’s problems began in 2015 when his wife, Dianne, filed for divorce after fifty years of marriage. Shortly after, rumors of an affair with his long-time aide, Rebekah Mason, were confirmed with the release of an audio tape. On it, Bentley can be heard describing touching the aide’s breasts and kissing her, while also letting her know to be cognizant they are in his office.

Despite apologizing for the “inappropriate” remarks, Bentley has insisted the affair was not physical. He has been charged with misusing state resources to hide the affair, presumably by people with common sense who do not buy into his pathetic excuses. It certainly seems like the governor is drawing a very gray and murky line on what defines physical, just based on what is already provable.

Typical of any politician caught with his pants down, Bentley is attempting to place the blame for his problems on everyone else.

“Those who would take pleasure in humiliating and shaming me, shaming my family, shaming my friends, well, I really don’t understand why they would do that,” the governor said, reading from a prepared statement.

“It may be out of vengeance, it may be out of jealousy, it may be out of anger. It may be out of personal political benefit, I don’t know. But I would ask them to please stop.” (

However, he would like to let everyone know he is praying, and he asks they do the same for him.

“Once again, let me say to the people of this state how sorry I am to all of our people,” Bentley said. “To all of you. There’s no doubt that I have let you down. But all I ask is that you continue to pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.”

And by the way, he is not going to resign. The Lord hath spoken, and the Lord hath told him he is called to be Governor of the Great State of Alabama, no matter what he has done.

“My motivation is to do what I truly believe what God called me to do,” Bentley said. “That’s to work hard and to serve our state and to serve and love the people of this great state of Alabama. God bless them and may God bless this great state as I continue to try to serve in the way that God has placed me in this position.”

Because Republican Jesus does not care about lying and cheating on your wife and using your political office to bang your assistant. He would only have a problem with it if you were gay and did not ask for forgiveness, and of course, if you did that while being a Democrat.

Fortunately the Ethics Committee and House Judiciary do not see it the same way. Impeachment hearings will begin next week.


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