Tensions are really starting to flare between Bernie Sanders supporters and Hillary Clinton supporters. I happen to think that’s actually a really good thing. Conflicts need resolution, and right now boiling withing the Democratic Party is a fight for who will control the messaging and the platform for the foreseeable future. Both sides would do well to remember that a) no one is perfect and that b) no candidate is a miracle worker. No matter who wins, they will face a tough fight from Congress barring a tidal wave that sweeps Republicans out of majorities in both houses.

There are legitimate criticisms that both Bernie and Hillary could face, but lately I’ve seen a few anti-Bernie talking points put forth by Hillary fans, and I thought to myself, “Why not pontificate on why I don’t buy those arguments?” Because you know, people give a fuck about my asshole — er opinion — on things. So here we go…

4 Really Silly Anti-Bernie Arguments Made by Hillary Supporters

#4. The NRA Likes Him!

This one is a major ideological blind spot for a lot of modern liberal thinkers. Many of us know and acknowledge that we have a lethal cocktail of near ubiquity of guns and a complete dearth of mental health facilities to help those who need it. But we also have many people in this country, liberals included, who don’t view guns as being the devil incarnate; because they aren’t. I consider myself pro-gun control for the safety of society at large, but I have no problem with a well-trained, responsible adult owning a firearm for hunting or self-defense. Bernie comes from a state with a lot of rural gun owners who literally do depend on their guns, whether to keep varmints away from their property or to ensure they aren’t all alone out in the sticks without some means to protect themselves.

I fucking hate the NRA, but as much as Hillary fans say that Bernie Bros/Bots/whatever pejorative they’re using that day claim love to use right-wing talking points against Hillary, they have zero problem letting the NRA troll them into hating Bernie for a perfectly reasonable stance on guns and gun manufacturers. No one should be in legal trouble for selling a legal product legally. Show me evidence of manufacturers knowingly flooding the black market with illegal guns, and that’s a much, much different story.

Besides, as Clinton fans, do you realllllly want to start talking about which corporate monoliths support which candidate?

#3. He’s not a real Democrat!

This is one of my favorite silly criticisms of Bernie. It really demonstrates a lack of awareness of just why Bernie is so popular. It’s not really a surprise to any of his fans that he has been an Independent in Congress since before many of them were born. Many, many of us are sick to death of the two party stranglehold. A lot of us even know that George Washington himself said that a two party system would bring down the country eventually. And even still more of us truly believe that the Democrats, while possessing social policy goals that are far more tolerant and better for society as a whole than the GOP, are still far, far off from a progressive ideal. You can call us naive or dreamers if you want, but we’re not the only ones.

Yes, of course it was cynical of Bernie to use the Democratic Party’s machinery to put himself on the ballots in states being an independent would preclude him from. So fucking what, is my question. What some perceive as a flaw of disloyalty, many others view as an example of being unbound to any force other than the people. Fuck us for wanting that, right? Considering that so many Hillary supporters have already said they’ll support Bernie too, it seems like an even emptier criticism.

#2. He tried to dump toxic waste on unsuspecting poor immigrants!

This is one I see a lot of Hillary supporters bring up and half of me sees where the criticism is coming from, but the other half of me thinks they’re just being partisan blind. Why? Because what Sanders did was to go along with a deal brokered in the House at the time between Texas, Vermont (where Bernie was a representative at the time) and Maine to dump what PolitiFact called “items such as scrap metal and worker’s gloves… as well as medical gloves used in radiation treatments at hospitals” classified as “low level nuclear waste.”

Yes, the Texas town in question where the waste materials were dumped was predominantly Latino and poor, but let’s just take a step back here.

Firstly, we’re not talking about Bernie backing up a Brinks truck and offloading spent plutonium. I have no idea if the radiation risk associated with these materials is all that great, but it’s important to note how the items were classified, and what those items were. Secondly, Bernie was doing his goddamned job. Representing the interests of Vermont. Lastly — The Iraq War vote. I’m pretttttty sure far more calamity befell this nation because of the Iraq War than because of some low-level nuclear waste being buried miles below the surface in a small Texas town. So let’s not go comparing congressional voting records unless we’re ready to put all our cards on the table, yes?

#1. He can’t win the General Election cuz “socialist!”

Yeah, see, this one is so goddamned silly it’s inspiring the comedian’s laziness in me to simply respond with this, and only this:




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