ZOMG! Obama’s Not Attending the Funeral of a Lady Who Hasn’t Been Relevant for Almost 30 Years!

The world is on fire because Obama is skipping Nancy Reagan's funeral, apparently.

Nancy Reagan died over the weekend. Some have asked me if I mourn her death, and I would…Just Say No. See, I happen to think the War on Drugs was made infinitely worse by Nancy and her husband Ronnie’s puritanical denigration of drugs and people who use them…well, not every drug and not every user huh? If you’re white and your drug of choice is pharmaceutical, the Reagans didn’t seem to much care about that. It was the “street drugs” they were crusading against.

But that was more than 30 years ago, and they haven’t lived in the White House in nearly as long, so who in their right mind would think that Nancy Reagan’s funeral was something that should be treated like an actual head of state dying?

Republicans. That’s who would be silly enough to care if President Obama attends Nancy’s funeral; of course. Even though I have a feeling if there’s a Republican president who has to decide whether to attend a Democratic First Lady’s funeral in the next fifty or sixty years, they won’t remember this moment, not one bit.

Of course, the reasons I wouldn’t attend Nancy’s going away party are not the same reasons Obama won’t. After all, as much as Captain Choom Gang openly talks about loving the weed back in the days of his youth, he’s taken a decidedly less mellow approach to ending the drug war than many of us would have liked. I really can’t say why he’s not attending Nancy’s funeral, but I can hazard one, simple guess.

He’s skipping the funeral because Nancy’s not relevant. Not in the slightest.


In three years, we will be 30 years removed from the Reagan Administration. Republicans seem to have this silly idea in their heads that the entire country holds Ronald Reagan in the same regard that Abe Lincoln is generally held in. They genuinely believe he was the savior, the messiah, the one who delivered us from that bumpkin Jimmy Carter. They don’t understand one thing, and that ignorance is looking more and more like the root cause of the Civil War that is breaking out among them now, ushering in, potentially, the Era of Donald for the GOP.

Since leaving office, the GOP has pined after another Reagan, without realizing the country doesn’t want another Reagan. This is what happens when you lock yourself into an ideology that tries as hard as it can to pretend that modern times don’t exist. They truly and utterly do not believe that the bulk of Reagan’s rhetoric has been shown to be empty, and that history and reality have shone a bright light and the darkness that was Reaganomics. Add to it the fact that only true Republican Sycophants believe Reagan “won” the Cold War, and what you have is the fact that the majority of Americans would not vote for Ronald Reagan again while Republican establishment figures have been desperate to find the next St. Ronnie.

Republicans wouldn’t vote for him again because he’s too liberal for their tastes. He was the amnesty guy, remember? Democrats and independents wouldn’t vote for him because his economic vision has decimated the purchasing and therefore economic power of the middle class. Reagan is irrelevant except as a talking point for the right, so his widow? She’s triply irrelevant.

Maybe it’s harsh to see it laid out like that, but it’s the truth. Why exactly would Obama attend her funeral? Her party has been absolutely atrocious to him for nearly a decade now, and don’t give me that “take the higher road” bullshit.

Republicans just can’t admit the country doesn’t care about the Reagans outside a history book’s pages anymore. They don’t want to come to grips with the fact that their behavior since he left office has turned people off to his party, and has helped to render him, and his wife, as irrelevant. Instead, they want to insist that Obama is somehow un-American for skipping the funeral of a woman most people presumed was already dead in the first place.

I love bathing in the salty tears of conservatives, especially when they find the most utterly ridiculous and patently political things to feign being indignant about.

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