South Dakota Republicans: Government Should Care Where Kids Poop and Pee

South Dakota Republicans care about your kids. Oh wait, sorry, we meant they care about where your kids take a dump.

Politics is said to make for strange bedfellows, but I think it also just straight-out makes people stupid.

Take for instance, the thought of a government that has a vested interest in where your kids poop and pee. I know, that sounds really dumb, right? It sounds so dumb that South Dakota Republicans did just that.

H.B. 1008, which passed the South Dakota state legislature this week and is expected to be on the governor’s desk soon, is a transparent attack on transgender people. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has condemned the bill and describes its effects as such, below.

H.B. 1008 would make transgender students use separate restrooms and locker rooms from everyone else – further singling out children who are already at high risk of harassment and isolation. South Dakota lawmakers are sending a message that it’s okay to segregate, humiliate, and bully transgender students. They’re saying that transgender students should be kept away from other students, as if they’re dangerous. (source)

So why are Republicans pushing this obviously discriminatory bill to the governor to sign? Well, according to them it’s about protecting the privacy of kids who aren’t transgender. CBS News reports that Republican State Sen. David Omdahl said the bill must be passed to “preserve the innocence of our young people.” Funny me, I always thought the 14th Amendment means we should be protecting everyone’s privacy, not just a select group, but what do I know? I’m just a comedian.

To Omdahl, having to share a restroom with a transgender person is a violation of privacy, but sharing a bathroom with someone who has the same genitalia as you isn’t. Does this make any sense to any of you out there? Isn’t it already a violation of our privacy we just put up with in situations where we have to use public restrooms in the first place? I mean, maybe I’m weird, but I don’t go into the poop and pee place thinking about getting my jollies.

Transgender kids aren’t wanting to use the bathroom that they feel comfortable in for any different reason than someone who isn’t transgender would. It’s not sexual. I’m starting to think that conservatives think about inappropriate sexual situations far more than people who are actually in inappropriate sexual situations. Frankly, this kind of talk makes me wonder why so many conservatives spend so much time dwelling on where our kids take a dump.

There is absolutely nothing “small government” about writing laws that dictate where people have to micturate or defecate.

Theocracy sure does look funny in South Dakota. It’s not about who you worship, or where you go to church. No, South Dakotan theocracy cares most about the place where your children are using the potty. How very nice of South Dakota Republicans to take such a vested interest in the stool and urine depositories of transgender kids. I am sure that those are resources that couldn’t have been put to use anywhere else in the state, like you know, their worst in the nation schools back in 2013?

Nah, who needs to worry about what you’re teaching your kids, as long as you’re as sure as you can be that no one is pooping or peeing in a toilet other than the toilet you want them to poop or pee in. Nice to see the good Republicans of South Dakota digging in on the important issues of our day, isn’t it?

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