Rubio: Placing Third Sends ‘Clear Message’, Sane People: That Message Is “Drop Out”

Marco Rubio should quit, he just doesn't know it yet.

Marco Rubio said in his 3rd Place Victory Speech* after the Iowa caucus that it sent a “clear message.”

If I’m not mistaken, that message is: Drop out, Marco.

Mind you, I’m pretty sure I know why Marco’s not dropping out and won’t drop out any time soon — he has nowhere else to go for now. He already said he isn’t going to run for re-election to his Florida Senate seat — proving he went to the Sarah Palin School of Work Ethic. So he’s stuck in the primary race because he made the gamble last year that 2016 was the year that he’d become the most powerful man in the free world.

But then, Donald Trump and Ted Cruz happened.

For all his traditionally Republican rhetoric on defense and national security, things that should at least get him into second place in the Iowa caucuses, he finished third behind Trump. Not that Trump beat Marco by thousands and thousands of votes, but the fact is that the man who was once called the “Savior of the Republican Party” isn’t liked by enough members of the party’s base to carry an election where usually the most fundie of fundamentalists comes out on top.


You have to go back to 1988 to find a Republican who finished third place in the Iowa caucus and won the whole thing. I know that the Iowa caucuses are piss-poor indicators of who will ultimately win, it doesn’t bode well for Marco that he placed third, at least not this year. He’s not even that sane or level-headed on foreign or domestic policy, so you’d think he’d have bested Trump, but at the end of the day, maybe Rubio’s base is just not that into him.

In Marco’s defense, were Trump not a factor, he could have possibly won, or at least come closer to Cruz. So maybe he’s just biding time, hoping Trump will get bored, which is a good bet. But can he best Ted Cruz? Given that Cruz hasn’t really distances himself from Trump’s rhetoric, it’s clear that’s angling for Trump’s voters, and he is probably more suited to base Republican voters than Rubio is, but just. They are both Tea Party darlings, or were at one point, but obviously the GOP establishment would rather have someone like Rubio in there than Cruz, since even Cruz’s own dick probably hates him for having to be attached to Cruz’s balls.

What the establishment wants, and what they’ll get though? Who knows. We’re not even sure at this point if Iowa is Cruz’s flash in the pan or the spark his campaign needs to now dominate. Let’s face it, Trump and Cruz are splitting the Tea Party vote, and that’s the only reason Marco didn’t lose by an even bigger fashion. Maybe for many Republicans he is the safe bet, but it appears that a lot of Republican voters, at least in Iowa, don’t want a safe bet; they want to bet the house on the White House.

Rubio sort of stands as a testament to where the GOP is. They are delusional enough to think Rubio’s mainstream — because they think their policies are — and they can’t quite figure out why the base they’ve whipped up into a paranoid frenzy doesn’t trust them enough to go for him. It’s a comical dance of ineptitude, that Democrats shouldn’t get too cocky about, because we’ve already elected one No Talent Asshole In a Suit and another evangelical, carpet bagging douche bag in the last 36 years, so anything can, as they say, go.

If Rubio were smart he’d bow out now and hope for a chance to fight again in 2016. This is the year the GOP base gets what they want, and he’s not it. He should let the establishment pick apart Cruz like they’re going to if Trump leaves, and let Trump get obliterated by whoever the Dems run, and then he can try to come back into politics, provided of course Fate doesn’t play any cruel tricks and Trump takes the taco.

The question then becomes…

…how smart is Marco Rubio?

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