If you’ve spent any time on the internet of late, you have most likely bumped into privileged progressives. Privileged progressives are the charming folks who say that if Bernie Sanders is not the nominee, they are either not going to vote at all, write in Jill Stein, or vote for Donald Trump. Because throwing the White House away doesn’t affect privileged progressives.
A typical privileged progressive is usually pretty well-off, usually white, and probably won’t be harmed in any way by a Trump presidency. They’re not Muslim, or refugees, or immigrants, so his xenophobia is offensive, yes, but not personally so. They treat women with respect, so Trump’s horrible misogyny is offensive, yes, but not personally so. They think Black Lives Matter, so Trump’s calling the BLM movement a terrorist organization is offensive, but not personally so.
Privileged progressives like Bernie Sanders because he hates the super-rich, even if they themselves are super-rich. It’s not them who are the problem; it’s the Walton family, and the Koch brothers. Heck, Bernie’s got a little money tucked away (in his wife’s name), but he’s rumpled and doesn’t dress fancy, so he’s just fine.
Luckily, privileged progressives now have a poster child: Susan Sarandon. Sarandon appeared on MSNBC recently with Chris Hayes, to chat about how much she loves Bernie Sanders, despises Hillary Clinton, and Monsanto (oh for the love of GOD), and thinks voting for Donald Trump if her pet politician doesn’t get the nomination might be a good idea. Oh come on, you say, you’re misinterpreting her comments. Well, if I am, then so are The Washington Post, The Atlantic, CNN, Business Insider, and Gawker’s click bait site for feminists, Jezebel.
Once Sarandon realized that people can hear you when you say words out loud, she backtracked faster then Thelma and Louise went over that cliff. After Jamie Lee Curtis and Debra Messing called her out on Twitter, Sarandon decided to clarify things by stating she would never support Trump “for any reason,” and we all misunderstood what she said.
No, we didn’t – because there are quite a lot of Sanders supporters saying the same thing. It reminds me of when my son was a toddler, and didn’t get what he wanted. Petulance, then whining, then screaming, then finally, a full-blown tantrum. I think we’re still in the petulance stage, but if Hillary Clinton ends up being the nominee, we will probably be witness to a rather large tantrum, accompanied by screaming.
Is Hillary Clinton perfect? Not at all, but neither is Bernie Sanders. Sanders really did vote to dump Vermont’s nuclear waste next to a tiny Texas town populated by Mexican immigrants. Bernie Sanders really does fight tooth and nail to get defense contracts in Vermont, while telling people he hates the defense industry.
But it seems privileged progressives don’t care. Hillary Clinton is evil, she’s sold her soul to the devil, she’s a Monsanto shill, she’s too rich, she’s too shrill, she supported shitty laws her husband signed. Bernie, on the other hand, is so pure and wonderful, a little birdie landed on his podium, which is obviously a sign from God that we should all vote for him.
Look, in November, what matters is keeping Donald Trump or Ted Cruz out of the White House. Sanders and Clinton are both good candidates. They are not saints, they both have screwed up in the past. They are our only hope of remaining a country that does good things (sometimes? most of the time?). If privileged progressives keep promising to throw this election to Donald Trump or Ted Cruz, just remember – they don’t care about you. They only want what they want, everyone else be damned.
Don’t ever forget how well the whole privileged progressive whine-fest turned out in 2000. Ever.
Originally published on Poking at Snakes.