OK Dems Propose Bill That Classifies 'Getting a Boner that Leads to an Abortion' Accessory to Murder

Democrats in Oklahoma respond to a new anti-abortion law in their state.

OKLAHOMA CITY, OKLAHOMA — Democrats in the Oklahoma State legislature have responded to a bill that Republicans in their state have passed that effectively makes performing an abortion a felony with their own law, this one aimed at “really attacking the root cause of abortions.”¬†As proposed by the Dems, SB1469 would charge any man who has an erection that leads to sexual activity that leads to a pregnancy that leads to an abortion with “accessory to murder.”
“The Democrats in the state legislature of Oklahoma believe that SB1552 is a direct violation of the constitutional rights of every woman to have a safe, legal abortion,” Rep. Sheila Schultz (D) told reporters at a press conference, “but if we’re going to live in a state with people who think that life worth protecting with laws that put people in jail begins at conception, then we feel we should be going all the way, as it were, and make getting a boner that leads to an abortion an accessory to murder.”
The bill Schultz was referring to was passed by the Republicans in her state and sent to Gov. Mary Fallin’s (R) desk this week. It is the harshest anti-abortion bill to be written in the last several decades and it strips the medical license from any doctor who performs an abortion if it’s not specifically needed to save the life of the mother. Many, Schultz included, feel the law is unconstitutional and will only cost the state millions of dollars in legal fees defending it if Fallin decides to sign it into law, which she has just a few days to decide on, according to Oklahoma laws.
“The way we see it,” Schultz told reporters, “SB1552 is written in such a way that you could bring Mother Nature up on charges since a huge number of pregnancies self-abort — or miscarry — in the first trimester. That also happens to be the time period when the overwhelming majority of abortions are performed. So we have to wonder if Republicans here in Oklahoma will be setting aside tax revenue to start a new law enforcement agency, specifically tasked with determining if miscarriages in the state are worthy of prosecution.”
Ms. Schultz said that her bill isn’t designed to criminalize all erections, just those that could potentially lead to abortions because she said “clearly Republicans think somehow punishing women in this state will make our economy grow and will fix every problem facing us today.” She said that sometimes you just have to “join them to beat them” and that she hopes men in the state will “think about the roles their boners play in a woman needing an abortion.”


Reached for comment, Rep. Tom Thompaulsen (R), said that he was “pleased” to see Democrats in the state “coming around to see things the right way.”
“We applaud the Democrats for copping to their BABY KILLER ways,” Thompaulsen said, “and we hope they’ll consider helping us pass a new bill we’ve cooked up that will make it a felony to have sex in the state outside of heterosexual wedlock for the expressed purpose of making babies happen illegal as well. Only through legislating personal sexual morality can we fix the myriad of problems in our society that have nothing to do with personal sexual morality.”


Republished from The Political Garbage Chute.

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