I’m going to write down two phrases, and if you’re like and have had the unfortunate duty/curse/job to cover American politics for the last eight years, you’ll know where I’m going with this almost right away.
The Latte Salute.
If you don’t remember “Umbrellagate,” I’ll try to refresh your memory. The gist of it is that conservatives were absolutely outraged that President Barack Obama had a marine standing next to him hold an umbrella while the president gave a speech in the rain. Because, according to the poet laureate and founding member of M.E.N.S.A. Sarah Palin, “real Americans hold their own umbrellas.” Of course, quick Google searches bring up all kinds of times when American presidents had someone hold an umbrella for them, but Palin’s never been one for intellectual honesty…or finishing a job she starts…or being more than tits with talking points. But anyway…
Then there was the “Latte Salute,” which may be an even bigger “Who gives a fuck?” moment than Umbrellagate. Republicans found themselves all in a tizzy when Obama had a coffee cup in his hand and still saluted a member of the armed forces. Once again, Republicans howled and wailed at the impropriety of Obama doing such a thing…and then it turned out that presidents have awkwardly saluted the military many, many times in the past and they never saw fit to bitch then. It’s almost as if we should remember that if we require our president to salute members of the armed forces he encounters, sometimes his hands may be full and it could look really dumb and weird.
So, why am I bringing up these two stories? Because they’re only two of dozens of examples of the times that Republicans lost their shit over accusing Obama of a total lack of dignity. And they’re the pluperfect examples of why the left will now take every chance they can to mock Donald Trump and his cabinet, and they’ll do so incessantly.
When Kellyanne Conway was photographed kneeling on a couch in the Oval Office, I knew that she’d get shit for it. Not because I personally care, or because any of the liberals I know personally give a shit. But because, again, we watched and listened for eight years as Republicans told us that putting your feet up in the Oval Office was “unAmerican,” and then we promptly showed them photo after photo of Republican presidents doing the exact same thing.
This is becoming a very common theme in right-wing America — and I’m calling it Obamanesia.
Obamanesia is what happens when Republicans spend nearly a decade getting offended by everything a president does because he’s a Democrat and then forgive it when a Republican does it much, much worse. Executive orders are bad, you say? Well, not under Trump because he’s just undoing what Obama did, you see? Totally different. Obama spent way too much time away from the White House, but it’s really not a big deal at all that Trump is costing us millions in extra security to keep his family in Manhattan and to keep jaunting off to Florida on the weekends…something he has done for most of his nascent presidency thus far.
Obanesia happens when you get so giddy about winning back the White House that you forget you spent four years harassing the last president about a terror attack on a consular building in Benghazi because it cost four Americans their lives that you stop caring about botched military operations and turn a blind eye to a horrific massacre of civilian life in Yemen under your guy. Obamanesia is what happens when you chastise Obama about “like your doctor, keep your doctor” for four years, and then just shrug your shoulders when Trump breaks campaign promises before even entering office.
It must be nice to be able to just ignore how you behaved for a decade. It must be even nicer to pretend your Electoral College only victory, secured by less than 80,000 votes spread out over three states, somehow makes you forgetting how you behaved for a decade okay because “elections and reasons and things.” And here I thought elephants didn’t forget things. I guess it’s just that they conveniently forget things; like their morals and principles.
They conveniently forget how they behaved for the last eight years, as if reality isn’t a thing. And as if we don’t have eyes and ears. They tell us to “get over” Trump winning, and they spent eight years ginning up literal racist conspiracy theories about Obama?
Fuck that shit. We are entitled to at least four years of mocking Trump and company, and taking every single opportunity the right gives us to throw their galling, bald faced hypocrisy back in their pious faces. And no, it’s not hypocritical for the left to do this; it’s pointing out the hypocrisy of the right. Which will once again be on display when they’re out of the White House again, and start bitching about what the next un-American, libtarded libtard in the Oval Office did to hurt their delicate little snowflake feelings.
Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.