No, Hillary Clinton Is NOT A Republican

hillary clintonI’m a recovering conservative, y’all, so I must admit, I find the argument that Hillary Clinton “is actually a Republican” to be somewhere on the other side of absurd. Now, I’m not here to tell you who to vote for. As I’ve said before, if you are #BernieorBust, I absolutely respect that. If you are like Mr. Webb and have gone Libertarian, duuuuuude, righteous! But for the love of all that is holy, please do not continue to embarrass yourselves with this ridiculous statement.
As a former Republican, let me explain to you why this does not work. I mean no disrespect at all. Honestly. I’m trying to help y’all out here, actually, because when you do this, I think you lose a lot of people. I mean, personally, I can’t take anyone seriously after I read those words. Now, if you have a valid reason, such as, “Bernie is for X, Y, Z,” I’m all ears. I will read, research, and educate myself. This is really where respectful discourse comes into play.



So, let me give you a quick refresher on the Republican platform, and make sure you actually understand the difference. Is Secretary Clinton a moderate Democrat? Probably. But Republican? Hardly.
Republicans are:
Pro-Life – They will regulate your vagina, uterus, eggs, even your placenta. Do y’all remember the big stem cell debate? Republicans want to get up in all women’s pants and stay there from puberty until menopause. Period.
Anti-Anything After Birth – They are against food stamps, welfare, school lunches, public education funding, federal student loans, public social security…They would be quite happy to privatize everything and turn it over to their buddies on Wall Street and the churches.

The participation of faith-based and community groups will be especially important in dealing with the twin problems of non-marital pregnancy and substance abuse. Reducing those behaviors is the surest way to end the cycle of child poverty. After-school programs should be fully open to the community and faith-based groups that know best how to reach out to our children and help them reach their true potential.
Source: Republican Platform adopted at GOP National Convention, Aug 12, 2000 http://www.ontheissues.org/Celeb/Republican_Party_Welfare_+_Poverty.htm

Strongly against LGBTQ – They will invoke any argument they can come up with in any arena possible to oppose homosexual “behavior”. See Mississippi and North Carolina.
Pro-God – Everywhere. Screw the Constitution and Separation of Church and State. God in schools, God on money, God in the Pledge of Allegiance, The Ten Commandments, abstinence as “sex education”.
Anti-Universal Healthcare – Taking care of all the sick is unconstitutional. Die already. Except they are also against assisted suicide, so you will need to suffer on this journey. However, they will send their thoughts and prayers.
Anti-Environmental Conservation – I’m still trying to figure this one out, honestly, so I welcome feedback. However, somehow this one has become political and religious. I think it has something to do with God and lack of belief in science, but whatever the case, government should not be involved in saving the planet, because most just don’t believe it needs to be saved, because climate change is bullshit. Or something. The EPA is Satan.
Pro-Death Penalty – The Old Testament is conveniently not applicable anymore when it comes to eating seafood and wearing mixed fabrics, but when it comes to the death penalty, Republicans will spout this verse and ignore “Turn the other cheek” every single time. Most actually feel the number of wrongly convicted is worth it; “God will sort it out in the end.” Seriously. Now that pharmaceutical companies are taking a stand, some states are considering going back to firing squads. Mine is one of them.
Anti-Immigration – Just turn on the news.
Pro-Voter ID – Despite all evidence to the contrary, they will do everything possible to convince you voter fraud is a huge issue. Anything possible to make it harder to vote, in order to disenfranchise minority voters. Screw democracy!
Anti-Marijuana – It’s a gateway drug. It’s horrible and bad and you should go to jail. Because…because…BAD! HORRIBLE! JESUS SAID SO!
Pro-Guns/NRA – The Second Amendment is absolute. No exceptions.
Pro-Military/Anti-Diplomacy – The military should be YUGE, and force is generally the first answer, not the last. Any attempt at diplomacy, such as not using inciting rhetoric, will be met with threats of impeachment.
See? Again, you can hate Secretary Clinton all day long. I’m fine with it. But she’s not a Republican. She may have crossed party lines once or twice, she might be moderate, but trust me…she ain’t a conservative.

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