When You Lie Down With Trump, You Get Up With Derp

No one should have any sympathy for Chris Christie after he endorsed Donald Trump.

It was truly a bizarre sight. I watched it today, ex post facto, so I can’t even imagine how it must’ve felt watching Chris Christie introduce Donald Trump with almost no energy and then proceed to phumpher around as Trump meandered through yet another speech. It’s like you could literally watch the thought, “Oh, what the sweet fuck have I done?!” creep through his brain by watching his facial expressions. But no one should remotely feel bad for Christie.

When you lie down with Trump, you get up with derp.

I hope Christie’s really proud of himself and his legacy, which now connects directly to the Half-Term Queen of Derp herself, Sarah Palin. Christie can count himself and Palin among such luminaries as David Duke and a ton of other racist, white supremacist assholes on Twitter and Facebook who are solidly on Team Trump. I wonder if the looks that kept creeping across his face last night were about it finally dawning on him that he may have for once sold himself out in a way that he wouldn’t be able to recover from?

Yup, that face pretty much says it all.


We all enjoyed watching Christie crawl up inside Marco Rubio’s asshole and destroy his presidential hopes. Clearly there is something of redeeming value that lurks within that low, foreboding brow of Christie’s. It’s just not his political views or his integrity is all. But if you want someone to pummel the shit out of Marco Rubio verbally, Chris Chritie’s your guy.

I have no idea if Donald Trump is going to be president. If he is, then it would seem he’s found his willing stooge to lend him a little more credibility than Palin did, and I do mean a very, very little more. Some have floated the idea that Christie did this so he could be a heartbeat away from the presidency as The Donald’s pick for his running mate. Very truthfully, I don’t know that it matters.

Here are the facts:

We have no idea if Donald Trump means anything he says. He could really be a fascist, xenophobic, Islamaphobic moron, or he could just be doing it to get votes. Even if he is a “plant” for the Democrats as some have suggested, he’s a plant that’s willing to risk his business relationships with people (unless they’re in on it too, but I’m not wearing tin foil right now so don’t ask me) and destroy his reputation to use fascist, homophobic, Islamaphobic and xenophobic rhetoric. So let’s say he wins, and Christie’s his VP; how the hell does Christie go to sleep every night knowing he got elected because he latched onto the coattails of one of the biggest assholes in his party?

Oh wait, he goes to sleep as one of the GOP’s biggest assholes every night, so this is probably par for his asshole course, isn’t it?

The point in all of this is that there are going to be more politicians like Christie as we get closer and closer to Trump winning the nomination. It’ll not just be fringe crazies that endorse him. If it becomes unavoidable, the party will rally around him, and then they better hope to all hell he wins. If he doesn’t, they will be irrevocably tied to a man who tried to racism his way into the White House. They probably won’t care though, because that’s what they’ve been trained to do, and as long as the checks don’t bounce they have no reason to alter course.

The question then becomes who will remember their cozying up to Trump, and who will make them pay for it? The answers to those questions will determine just how broken our government stays, and for how long.

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