Liberals Laugh to Death as Ted Cruz is Taken to Court Over “Birther” Concerns

The birthers have a new target -- Ted Cruz.

To me, the whole idea that we’d actually care that much about which continent a person vying for the presidency escaped from his mother’s vagina from is beyond ridiculous to me in the 21st century. Clearly though, there are clearly a lot of Americans — right-wingers from my observations — disagree with me. And now, instead of haunting Barack Obama over his birthplace, some on the American right have trained their birther sights on Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX/Canada) and it is just too delicious not to revel in.

Lawrence Joyce, who is an attorney that challenged Obama’s birth status before, has filed suit in Chicago claiming that Cruz is ineligible, and the Circuit Court there has agreed to hear the case. Donald J. Trump, who currently leads the Republican pack is of course one of the biggest birthers out there. For years he’s hounded Obama, claiming a couple times to have evidence of his birth certificate’s forgery. Needless to say that evidence never materialized, but Joyce isn’t actually a Trump supporter. Joyce says he backs Dr. Ben Carson.

Something tells me Ted Cruz is really regretting those dirty tricks he played on Carson in both Iowa and New Hampshire, if it’s one of Carson’s backers that’s not making Cruz’s life a living hell. And me? I couldn’t be happier, and I’d be willing to bet a whole lot of liberals are laughing at the circus right along with me. The feeding frenzy is in full swing, and no one is safe. And to make it even more delicious to us all, unlike Obama, Cruz really was born in another country, Canada, not that it should matter in the slightest.

Had Cruz not been such a wormy little slimeball to his fellow Republicans they probably would be rallying around him right now. He’s more “establishment” than Trump, but because he’s pissed everyone in D.C. off including his own party, he’s going to be left to twist in the wind, and it couldn’t happen to a more deserving sleazebag. Hell, if he hadn’t been such a strident, terse ideologue and demagogued liberals for the last few years so heavily, even we might be apt to jump up and defend Cruz against the absurdity of birtherism, and it is truly absurd.


It really doesn’t matter where a person was born; what matters is the content of their character. This is what seems to escape modern day conservatives. They get so wrapped-up in what the words that were written by dead elitists of the 18th century mean that they pass over the reality they live in now.

By what logic would it matter if someone was born in Canada, then moved to the United States and wanted to become president? Are we really so nationalistic that we don’t trust an interloper could possibly “love” this country as much as we do? It’s a silly, stupid, old fashioned and antiquated idea, and it’s probably rooted in at least a soupcon of xenophobia to boot.

Both the natural-born citizen clause and the Second Amendment are relics. They’re holdouts from a previous era, and were written at a time that makes them seem really anachronistic. But at least the Second Amendment makes sense on the level that every human being still has a right to defend their life. The natural-born citizen clause is just stupid at this point. Many people, for instance, probably wouldn’t assume that because he was born in Canada, that Michael J. Fox should be ineligible to be president if he wanted to be. And that’s just one dude I pulled randomly out of my head.

But Ted Cruz? He’s a dickdouche. And dickdouches don’t get defended, they got mocked and chided.

He made his bed. He was a viper and attacked everyone and anyone so that he could go back home and tell his constituents what a pissant he’s been to the people in Washington. Except, for a lot of us, that just shows why he’s eligible but not worthy — he’d be a terrible leader. He’d be one hell of an autocratic dictator, because clearly to Ted Cruz the only person as smart as himself is…himself. But a leader? Give me a break. The guy’s loathed by people who are literally paid to like him (his own party mates), so why would anyone work with him?

Ted Cruz shouldn’t be allowed to sniff the White House’s wine corks, let alone sit behind the big desk in the Oval Office. He’s a religious sycophant who doesn’t believe in healthcare for the poor and that gay people are less deserving of equality. He’s a shitty human being, but he doesn’t deserve to be disqualified from the presidential race because of the place he was born.

He deserves to be disqualified from the race because of where his “ideas” come from…Hisassistan.

 

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