A man in Florida — of course it’s Florida — has started a GoFundMe campaign to raise the funds necessary for building President Donald “Mushroom Dong” Trump’s border wall.
A Florida man has started a GoFundMe campaign to raise money online for President Trump’s border wall, saying “it’s up to Americans to help out and pitch in to get this project rolling.” As of Thursday morning, the GoFundMe campaign has raised more than $3.3 million, with a goal of $1 billion — a fifth of the $5 billion that President Trump has been demanding, unsuccessfully, from Congress. (CBS)
Setting aside the hilarious irony of a bunch of so-called Christians turning their backs on poor refugees fleeing danger in their homeland during Christmas time, in order to build a wall and literally tell those people “there’s no room” for them, I’m all for this. Sure, it’s disgusting that the people who claim we’re too broke as a country to pay for medicine for sick people, or food for the hungry, are finding the couch cushion money — and a lot more — that they need to build the wall. Yes, the fact that in less than a week they’ve raised a few million bucks for the wall is disheartening in how many sadly misinformed, scared white people there are in this country.
But I’m here for their GoFundMe effort. Raise it all, MAGA Peeps. Get yourself the whole entire $5 billion that your tangerine tinted titmouse wants you to pony up. You know why I want you to raise this money so badly?
So that Mexico literally never pays for it, that’s why. So that Trump’s loudest, most bombastic, and least realistic promise goes down as the biggest load of politically spun bullshit in history. I mean, it already was that to begin with, but if a bunch of sad people cobble five billion bucks together to build the wall it proves that Mexico never had to pay for it, and it makes Dumbfuck Don an even bigger laughing stock and disappointment than he already was.
I don’t want a new border wall, and I don’t think it’s necessary. That being said, if one gets built off the backs of the very same people that Trump promised weren’t going to pay for it? Oh that’s irony that’s far too delicious to pass up; I have to take a bit. Think about it. Any wall built with Trumpers’ hard earned money instantly becomes a monument to his lies and deceit. It’s a literal testament to his ineptitude. And every time someone hops over it, digs under it, or otherwise thwarts its efforts to keep people out, it’s another chance for us to “ha-ha” at the pro-wall people.
Owning the libs by building a monument to their own gullibility.
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.