Dear GOP: Trump is Your Shit Sandwich. Mayo or Miracle Whip?

The Republicans must sidle up and slurp down the toxic diarrhea that is Donald Trump.

There must be something wrong with me on the inside because as much as a nightmare that Donald Trump represents to all of humanity if he wins, I still am kinda giddy about what he’s doing to the GOP regardless.

Trump is starting to look, sound, and smell more and more like America’s answer to former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Will anyone really be surprised if Donald’s caught hosting Trumpa-Trumpa parties in the White House? And how great will it have been that in 20 or so years we will have gone from the Republicans hand wringing over an Oval Office blowjob to them willingly putting a twice-divorced proponent of universal healthcare in there?

“Really fuckin’ great” is the answer you’re looking for, by the way. It’s really fuckin’ great to watch this.

Even if Trump is a plant after all, he’s a guy that is inciting racial hostilities and encouraging physical abuse against dissenters everywhere he goes. He speaks to the lowest common denominator and he’s riling up a segment of our populace that is embarrassingly ignorant, hateful, and scared of non-white, non-Christian people. It’s gives me so much pleasure knowing that Trump is making the Republicans own all of their embarrassing base, stock, and smoking semi-automatic barrel.

They’re trying so hard to get him out of the way so the Wizard can keep telling the people of Oz how powerful he is, but everyone else they’ve tried to encourage the mouth breathers to grab onto is hated even more than Trump is, and can you blame them? In a choice between Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, or Marco Rubio, I choose Fire-AIDS. That’s where you die in a fire that’s infested with the AIDS virus. It’s not real, but then again I didn’t think Trump had a real shot at winning this thing, and well…

Time to eat the shit sandwich, Republicans, and make no mistake about it, Donald Trump is your shit sandwich.


Donald Trump is what you get when you prey on the ignorant masses as part of the Southern Strategy. Donald Trump is what you get when you so thoroughly convince people that every government official, no matter what stripe, is terrible and untrustworthy. Donald Trump, whether he is serious in his opinions and proposals or not, is the clarion call for the all the low-information, conspiracy theory believing, willfully ignorant, anti-science, anti-equality, anti-modernity Americans that the Republicans have not only tried to bring into their fold, but have flaunted as part of some twisted version of what “true” Americans look like.

And again, this son of a bitch of shit sandwich could take it all! That’s the truly amazing part. As horrible an idea as President Donald J. Trump sounds, he’s going to be the nominee unless he quits or the GOP forces him out. If they force him out, why wouldn’t he break his pledge and run independently? No, the GOP has made this mess and now they’re going to have to slurp down bite after bite of hot, steamy, Trump.

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