Oh, you’re a Bernie Sanders supporter are you? How does it feel to hate America? You say you don’t hate America? Liar! We think you do, and here are five reasons why.
Bernie Sanders Supporters Hate America…
#4. Because they think universal healthcare and higher education work just because they work.
Bernie supporters seem to live under the delusion that just because things like universal healthcare and higher education have existed in other countries for decades without bringing about societal collapse that we could implement those programs here. But that’s crazy socialist talk! Why would we want to fix our health care and educational systems? So what if we’re consistently ranked in the middle or even the bottom of the pack with other developed nations in terms of education and healthcare? We cannot possibly look to other places that have done it successfully and learn from them! Learning is for members of the elite intelligentsia. True American patriots are poor, dumb, and sick, and don’t ever bitch about being poor, dumb, or sick.
#3. Because they want to talk to people and then blow them up instead of blowing them up and maybe talking to them later.
Did you know that Bernie Sanders didn’t want to enter the Iraq War? Do you really want some kind if jerk with sound judgment on matters of foreign affairs as our president? what kind of country will we be if we don’t have someone in charge who knows the secure peace you have to blow up a lot of stuff and kill a lot of people? It’s not an America any of us would recognize, that’s for sure. Shooting first and never asking questions later is just what we Americans do best. So don’t upset the apple cart, Commie!
#2. Because they think corporations aren’t real people and shouldn’t be allowed to purchase our government.
Maybe your government education didn’t teach you this, so we’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, but our founders clearly intended our Constitution to guarantee full rights to every single person in this country. And as much as liberals cry about not being fair to minority groups, they sure have no problem picking on one of the most maligned groups in America — Corporate Americans. Bernie Sanders fans have the audacity to believe corporations are just legal entities created solely to remove personal liability for the company’s actions and financial solvency and not actual people entitled to the constitutional protections of freedom of speech. What a bunch of America haters!
#1. Because they believe that people with more money than God have it good enough already.
Did you know that Bernie Sanders intends to pay for his “free” education and healthcare programs by raising taxes, the most un-American thing to do ever? Sure, taxes paid for us to get to the moon, and sure taxes helped build the highway system our economy depends on today. But if we raise taxes, especially on the people who have so much money they literally can’t spend it all in their lifetimes, we might make them sad. And everyone knows that our country was founded on one principle and one principle only — keeping our Oligarchic masters ever increasingly happy. So go out there and get a third job to pay for your education and healthcare, Hippie, and leave the elections to the rest of us!